North Korea - Laugh Factory...

This just in: The happiest people in the world live in China.  They are followed by people living in North Korea and then by those living in Cuba.  Last on the list - those living in the United States.  These findings come from a comprehensive survey conducted by...North Korea.

Here is a picture of every happy person in Korea.

On an unrelated issue, 25% of the people in North Korea are living at a starvation level.  A drought in China along with sanctions for attacking South Korea have left the "very happy" people of North Korea surviving by eating grass and tree bark.  Can you say, "Eastern Spring?"

For those of you keeping track of the approach of 2012; a volcano just erupted in Chile.  I'm just saying.

John Edwards is an example of the quality of people who rise to our highest offices.  This guy cheated on his dying wife and used (allegedly) campaign funds to keep his now pregnant mistress quiet.  He needs to go directly to jail.  He plans on fighting this.  At first, he was negotiating an out-of-court settlement.  Once he heard any settlement would have jail time, he said, "Wait, I just remembered.  I didn't do it."  This is legal talk for "I did it and we all know it but I don't think you can prove it."

My son has AT&T for his i-pad.  Turns out, his 1-year subscription expired after 3 months.  He then bought a 1-month service and it expired after 30 minutes.  This sounds EXACTLY like the AT&T I have come to know and loathe.

The worst product I ever bought: An electric pencil sharpener that broke half way through the first pencil.  You?

Kevorkian is gone.  Dr. Death died just when we need him most.  Who am I going to turn to when my Medicare voucher in 2023 is worth only $1.25 in 2012 dollars.

Jobs is a problem for Obama.  If I were to be convinced someone else had the answer, I would turn to them.  I know who doesn't have the answer.  The GOP tax cuts have been extended for 6 months now.  So, where are the jobs they promised?  All we really have to show for the tax breaks are (1) a few millionaires with one more vacation home than they had 6 months ago, (2) a growing national debt that is killing our economy, (3) fattened political coffers for those, (the GOP) that got them the money and (4) a GOP budget that calls for lowering the tax rate another 10%.

I saw a study that said college, as far as education is concerned, may not be worth the money.  The gains in knowledge are apparently minimal.  However, companies still prefer college graduates for the same reason they prefer Eagle Scouts.  They set out to do it and they did it.  I agree with all of this.  I learned a lot in college but I almost never work with differential equations (okay, maybe during tax time).  For me, college was about learning to learn.

I don't know about you, but I am not willing to trust "the cloud" to everything.  I understand not having to carry all of my stuff with me. I can keep it on the cloud.  I like to hike at a place about a mile from my house.  There is no cell service there.  I'm not sure why.  It's not like I'm in a cave or a gully. I can't get internet service, I'm out of business.  The cloud is a great idea whose time will have come, we 100% of the U.S. has internet coverage.

I've been sort of toying with this idea of a guest blogger.  No takers just yet.  I think it would be cool if a reader out there had a young child that wrote a poem or a theme for school that could be published here.

Quote for the day: "Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to try to prove the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right." H.L. Menchen, 1956

I'm still in Budapest saving the day and such.  Hope you all had a great weekend.

Up, up and away...

jim

Thanks for the clicks

A Pinch of This and a Dash of That

This just in: Scarlett Johansson has split with Sean Penn.  Great, now I have to worry about her stalking me again.

Romney threw his hat in the ring and the first sentence he said was a lie.  "When Obama took office, we wished him well and hoped for the best."  Funny that's not what I remember.  I remember something more like "The number one goal of the GOP is to make Obama a single term president."

It's no secret that the GOP party's main goal is to block every attempt by Obama to succeed at anything.  Romney is the perfect example of this hypocrisy.  As a governor, he boasted of his state's health care system.  As a GOP congressman, he's done nothing but blast Obama's health care system - the system that is nearly identical to the one Romney endorsed for his own state.

Here is a link to some funny Army quotes.

I'm going to the SHRM (Society of Human Resource Managers) conference in Las Vegas at the end of this month.  My company, Shiftwork Solutions, will have a booth there, telling people about what we do for a living.  Should be fun.

An ex-aide to Sarah Palin wrote a tell-all book.  If any of it is true, she is way less qualified than I already suspected her to be.  She's flirting with the presidency saying, "We need to to get the country back on track."  Strange to hear such implied insight from a woman whose qualifications can be fit onto a stick-it.

I saw a video of a badger eating a poisonous snake after being bitten by it.  The badger, half way through his meal, passed out and sort of went into a coma.  After a few hours, it woke up and resumed its meal.  Badgers are bad-ass.

John Boehner made another one of his leaps-of-logic statements.  I'm paraphrasing here but it went something like, "We need to get the debt under control because, uh, you know, uh, jobs."  This is a little like saying, "I need to put gas in the car, uh, you know, uh, toaster."  Whenever I see him talk, something about his manner tells me he doesn't believe what he is saying.

I'm in Europe now and I can tell you they are getting nervous about the U.S. debt ceiling.  Here are a couple of important points to remember:

• Failure to raise the debt ceiling will have a catastrophic economic on the world.
• The debt ceiling will be raised.
• The GOP will threaten to not raise it right up to the last-minute; creating increasing anxiety around the world.
• The world markets will begin to react adversely as the deadline approaches
• The debt ceiling will be raised but by then, sever damage will have been done worldwide - by the GOP

Some Aussies sneaked (I like "snuck" better) up to a truck that had a speed camera on it. The took off the plates and put them on their car.  They then sped by the camera several times before replacing the plates.  The result was the police department sending 17 speeding tickets to itself.

You may want to change your vacation plans for the summer and skip that stop-over in Libya.  They have several cases of the bubonic plague.  Other than that, and the occasional random arrests or mortar fire or heat and expansive vistas of dirt - it's quite the garden spot.

The word that won the latest National Spelling Bee: cymotrichous.  It took me three tries just to the get the first letter right.  (I'm sure Kimmy is not surprised by that.)

Check out this link if you want to see some clever/useful products.

I saw a news blurb about a guy that had some software called "Hidden" installed on his Mac.  When his Mac was stolen, the computer sent him messages telling him where it was at.  It also took random photos of the thief.  This is really cool.

Now I don't trust my own computer.  Suppose it turns on me and starts taking random photos and posting them on Flickr.   Here's one that I found that looks suspiciously like me.

Here is your quote for the day: "The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind." Wayne Dyer

That's a wrap for today.  Time to save the world.

Up, up and away...

Jim

thanks for the clicks...