Unburnable

I'm in Chicago tonight.  Just got in.

Lot's of traffic. They're lucky I left my road bazooka at home.  Nothing clears a road faster than wire-guided weapons systems.

I got a call from a friend of mine that is in town from Hungary.  It was a last minute thing and since he came all this way, I couldn't say no (sorry, Kimmy).  He left me an email that said "Millennium Station at 6:00 pm."  This is sort of like saying "Meet me in Oklahoma at 6:00 pm."  Turns out Millennium Station covers almost all of Chicago.

I found a place to park but then spent the next fifteen minutes trying to find my way out of the underground parking lot.  There were doors all over the place but every one of them was marked "emergency exit only."  So, if this 100% cement structure ever catches on fire, I can get out just about anywhere.  Since there wasn't so much as a puff of smoke, I ended up walking out the car entrance I drove in.  Base on the parking rate, it cost me about $10 just to make it out of the parking lot.

We never did hook up.  His cell phone had bad coverage so we never got it narrowed down to more than a few city blocks.  I walked around quite a bit then tossed in the towel.  No sooner had I driven my car out of the lot when he called.  Too late for me.  Maybe tomorrow.

On to politics.

The Republicans say they don't want to extend jobless benefits because they don't want to pass a spending bill that is not paid for.  In other words: "Why give money to people that can't afford to contribute to my campaign fund?"

The Republicans want to extend tax cuts for the ultra rich saying now is not the time to take money from people that are just scraping by.  In other words: "Keep giving money to those rich people that have fattened my campaign fund."

Take from the poor and give to the rich.  Add this to their other bag of tricks of catering to people's fears while pandering to their faith.

In an effort to be fair and balanced: Obama needs to grow a pair.  He walks out of a meeting with the GOP and says, "I think we can work together."  They walk out of the same meeting and say, "Taking away the tax cut from the rich is a non-starter".

Here, let me take a stab at a speech he should consider:

"There will be no extension of tax cuts for anyone.  There will be no extension of unemployment benefits.  If you have a problem with this, talk to the GOP.  Here is what I want, extend the benefits; extend the tax cut for low and middle incomes."

He won't do this because he is more of a coach than a leader.  I want him to lead, but I am starting to wonder if he has it in him.

Gays in the military.  The military says, "Go for it.  We have no problem."  The civilians in congress on the GOP side of the house are acting as if they have somehow been given wisdom in this area that supersedes the military's own view.  The Chairman of the JCS says do it and a GOP, whose biggest battle was as a substitute member of his college debate team wants to act like he knows better.

What are they afraid of?  To me its just homophobia.  I'll tell you what, I have a few gay friends and none of them have ever tried to kiss me.  I think the GOP is projecting their own belief that if they were ever in a foxhole with a gay man, they might want to have sex with him.  I truly believe the louder people complain about gays, in any situation, the more likely they are to be suppressing their own inclinations (not that there's anything wrong with that.)

It's been a busy month for me.  I wrote a novel, I posted to my main blog.  I created and posted several times to my wrestling blog and short story blog.  I have been on 10 planes and flown 25,000 miles.  I coach high school wrestling when I am in town.  I found 11 geochaches (look that up at www.geochaching.com).  I did my regular job.

And finally, had time to do my secret job - saving worlds.

Up, up and away.

jim

Panda Land

If you were to ask Stephen Cobert what the greatest threat facing America today is, he would probably tell you - bears.

I feel the same way, sort of.

I'm not afraid of bears, any more than I'm afraid of spiders...which I really am afraid of so maybe I am afraid of bears; but I digress.  No, I am afraid of Panda Bears.  More specifically, I am afraid of people that live near panda bears.  More specifically yet, I fear the Chinese.

Sort of.  My fear of the Chinese is a lot like my fear of the unknown.  We are all afraid of what's around that dark corner because it's an "unknown."  It might be a boogie man or maybe even a big spider; but so long as it's an unknown, we default to FEAR.

I won't be afraid of China for much longer though.  The reason for this is that pretty soon, we are all going to stand up and point at the land of Pandas and say, "The Emperor has no clothes."

That's right.  We will soon enough see that the conspiracy theorists finally got one right.  China is run by bad people.

Here is my evidence:

• North Korea has a Gross Domestic Product of about a dollar and eight-cents.  Yet, they threaten the free world with nuclear death constantly.  I doubt that they can pull that off, but I'm certain that they can bomb an island.  In fact, nearly 50% of the shells they fired at an island yesterday actually hit the island.  North Korea is run by a mad-man and controlled, completely - By the Chinese.
• Yesterday, a woman confessed to selling faulty Chinese micro-chips to the United States.  They were counterfeited in China.  I don't know if you have ever been to a FAB where they make micro-chips, but I have.  They are huge and expensive and if one is making counterfeit chips to sell to the United States, you can bet the Chinese government knows about it.
• Ericsson is a telecommunication company based in Stockholm.  Hericsson is the Chinese rip off of that same company.  They are trying to profit from having a name sound like a reputable company.  Go to their website and you will find all of the world's smart phones there.  They are made by Hericsson supposedly.  In reality, they are cheap copies of the most popular phones in the world.  China didn't invent them.  They copied them on the outside and stuffed the insides with cheap components.
• I bought a dental pick yesterday.  I wanted a good one but it cost $75 and there was a much cheaper one right next to it for only $25.  One was a brand name.  One came from China.  I bought the cheap one thinking, "How bad could it be?"  Well, I cleaned about three teeth before it stopped working.  Made in China.
• Don't even get me started about lead in toys.
• I can't even imagine complaining about the mayor of Bakersfield and then finding myself in jail.  That's what happens in China.

China is definitely taking a much bigger role on the world's stage.  This is actually their biggest problem.  They are no longer a land of mystery.  They are cheap, ruthless, deceitful and controlling on all levels.

Soon, we will no longer be able to pretend that they are otherwise.

Then, the world will be saved.

You're welcome.

Up, up and away...

A Bloodless Ascention

A little over a week ago, China was able to capture 15% of the world's internet traffic and route it through their domestic server. They maintained this for about 18 minutes.  During that time, they had access to everything from email addresses to encrypted military documents.

Make no mistake about it - China has made their entrance.

There are those that may think, "I'm not worried, out military is way stronger and decades more advanced."  While this is true, I would caution that this is only a passing situation.  And even if it weren't, even if we always maintained the world's largest military, that does not mean our position as The World's Superpower, is not in danger.

Those that know, know that economics determines who makes the rules.  I don't care how many guns you have.  If there are no jobs and you owe money to everyone, then you are in big trouble.

China grew its economy by using our system of free trade. The only problem is, they cheated.  They don't let the market determine the flow of money and goods.  The government subsidizes industries they want to grow.  They get the money for this by keeping about 1 billion people working for poverty level wages.

Now, this is not about, Don't buy Made In China because of the poor workers.  If the workers their don't like the way they are treated, let them rise up and take care of business.

No, this is about free trade not working because China is cheating. Here is an example;  In Eastern Europe, China is starting to take over all of the infrastructure for the telecommunication industry.  Local companies are losing bids to Chinese companies because the Chinese bids are so low.  For a European company to win a bid, they have to propose a price that is far less then their break even point.  The Chinese don't care if they lose money on the deal.  After all, they have plenty of slave labor that produce profits in other sectors.

So, China takes over Europe's telecommunications industry and they can take over the internet at will.

The real threat to us, is not the Chinese, however.  In India, they have this thing called a Manufacturing Policy.  It's a plan to grow and manage their country's manufacturing base. One of its key points is to foster education and innovation.  This is a real threat to our economy.  They actually plan on learning to do things better.  The Chinese don't care about better.  They are happy to copy your technology and sell it back to you at half price.  I consider that marginally sustainable.  However, there are now nearly a billion Indians that plan on "doing it better".  This is our specialty and they want in on it.

You may be wondering what our Manufacturing Policy is here in the United States.  We have none.  We talk a lot about rebuilding our manufacturing base when in reality, we've forgotten how to do things.  We've forgotten how to innovate.  Our parents built up some economic momentum and our children are riding the wave.

We are doomed if this is our plan for the future.

The solution and the biggest roadblock resides in Washington.  Politicians more interested in winning elections than in doing what is best for the country are our worst enemy and our only hope.

Then of course, there is me.  I'd pitch in but there is a world to save.

Up, up and away...

Jim

Not a Peanut M&M in sight.

Today is a travel day and nothing says “blog” like an entire day spent going from point A to point B.

It started off rough. 

It’s 4:30 in the morning and my wife is driving me to the Budapest airport.  We get caught off guard by an unexpected sign that basically says, “If you think you’re going to take this road to the airport, you are mistaken.”  No detour signs.  Nothing.

Fortunately, my wife saw a cab pulled over.  He would tell us how to get back on track.  Unfortunately, the reason he was pulled over was to relieve himself on the side of the road.  We discovered this when our car’s headlight lit him up for the entire world to see.

Now, I don’t want you to think Budapest is filled with diggers and fillers working on never ending road projects while cabbies carve their names into the snow.  It’s as modern as any other city which is to say, there are some parts that you should avoid.  Sort of like huge chunks of Philadelphia.

The airport is filled with “Security Theater” as the suits we all elect to office put on a show about stopping the illegal transportation of printer ink across international borders.

This is all so much B.S.  We act like the guy that stuffed the explosives into the ink cartridge is a criminal mastermind.  If that’s true, then I’m Einstein.

For example:  They limit the liquids you can bring onto a plane to 3 oz; as many 3 oz. containers as you can cram into a one gallon bag.  I think this is because it takes TWO gallons of shampoo to make a bomb.  Three seconds after I heard this, I thought, “Why don’t the terrorists just buy an extra plane ticket?”  Two terrorists can bring on twice as much shampoo, or toothpaste or whatever the TSA is afraid of today.

It’s not like there is a shortage of people that want to kill other people.  The reward is pretty high.  Seventy-five virgins is quite the jackpot to someone that has had a steady diet of mobile black tents with eyeholes.

Here is why I think they’ve taken a “pass” on the two-ticket option: Virgin shortage.  I have no idea where they find 75 virgins to begin with; I don’t care who’s in charge of the afterlife. 

Speaking of which, what are the chances of a Higher Power creating a world full of people so they will kill each other?  Do these guys think they get to heaven and there is God saying, “Thanks for killing those innocent people.  I never did like those women and children to begin with.  Help yourself to some virgins.  Showers are down the hall to the right.”

By the way, what do the female suicide bombers get?  Are they lesbians looking forward to Virgin City or do they get some Chippendale action?

As I write this there is a huge woman sitting next to me. It’s six hours into my flight and she has spent the entire trip bitching at her husband or scolding her 3-year old daughter.   She treats the flight attendants like slaves.

Where is my dart gun when I need it?

I land in Chicago in a few more hours.  Home of the Clements, including a daughter that I hear is destined to be a famous actress.  Sarah, you go girl! (She can only read this paragraph by the way)

And later…

I am finally at my hotel – 20 hours door to door.

I got stuck at Chicago customs.  There had to be over a thousand people in line.  Really.  I looked around and asked myself, “Is this really the best we can do?”  Now I know why we are sending jobs overseas.  We don’t know how to do anything anymore.

I stand in line and answer questions like, “Where have you been?” and “Did you bring a bazooka with you?” (Actually, I made up that bazooka part but I could tell he wanted to ask.)

Chicago is where most of us Super Heroes gather.  Look for us at a Popeye’s Chicken near you.  We will be the ones stuffing our faces as we plan on ways to save the world.

Up, up and away…

jim

Dust to Dust

We buried a judge today.

Her name was Maria and she served as a judge in Budapest for forty years; more than twenty of those years as a member of the Hungarian Supreme Court.  She died on November 1st; Dead Man's day.

How did I come to attend this event?

Maria is my wife's brother's mother-in-law.

She was more than a judge.  She was a wife, a mother, and a grandmother.  I didn't know her very well, having only met her a couple of times.  The second time we met was when I went with my wife to their home.  They gave me a present for my 50th birthday.  It felt to me as if they were saying, "You are part of our family."

The funeral was moving as expected.  A gray sky hovered over black coats and dresses.  There were couple of hundred people and lot of flowers.  She was obviously very well loved.  During the ceremony, a man read the story of her life.  I don't speak Hungarian so I'm not sure what it all entailed but, her being a judge  makes me think that she'd accomplished a lot in her life.

She was a small woman, not one you would necessarily notice on the street.  And if you failed to do so, it would be your loss.

As I watched others during the ceremony, I tried to feel the grief, if only for a moment, that others closest to her felt.  It was a very moving experience.  A husband that would probably give anything for just a few more hours with his wife; a granddaughter in law school who was going to study Civil Law with her grandmother next semester; A daughter whose mom was always there and who still is but on a different plane.

Funerals seem to be such a final step.  It's as if some of us may have been hoping the entire death was a nightmare and we need the ceremony to make us finally understand, the end is here.  For her - it's here.

So much life is lost when one dies.  How is it that we can ever hope to come to terms with such a thing.  If we are what our experiences have made us, then when we die, all that remains is what others experienced with us or through us.  This can only be a small portion of what one actually was.

The loss of Maria, like all losses, was huge.  Maybe not to you, and maybe not to me.  But to those that knew her well, it is a heavy burden to bear. I've lost loved ones in the past.  It hurts and there is no end in sight.  That is part of the pain, the illusion that you will suffer the loss at that initial grief level forever.

This is why we have funerals.  We have them for the closure.  We also have them to share our grief with each other; so we can take turns being strong for each other when even the strongest amongst us is sometimes too weak.

I believe there is one reason above all others for having such a ceremony.

We have them because we don't know what else to do.

It rained today, but just enough for us to appreciate it when it stopped.

We buried a judge today; under a cloudy, but mostly dry sky.  Then afterward, the heavens wept.

To Maria, I say...

Up, up and away...

The Dart Gun Option

I think we should have a rule.  One time in everyone's life, they should be given a chance to shoot a dart into the neck of someone, anyone.  You wouldn't need to have a reason.  Now the dart can be a tranquilizer dart but I don't think that is necessary.

For example, I would use my turn to shoot a dart into the neck of Eric Cantor, a Republican from Virginia.  My dart would have a potion that would make him tell the truth for just five minutes.

Before:  Obamacare is going to bankrupt the country. I am going to fight to repeal it.

After: I have no idea about the long term impact of the New Health Care plan but I understand the good intentions that went into it.  There are several things about it that are good and some that probably shouldn't be in there.  Additionally, I think we should add a few things. The only reason I am calling it Obamacare and saying I am going to repeal it is because it gets me air time on television and makes me famous.  It also brings in lots and lots of money from Insurance companies.  I really don't care if you have affordable health care or not, just so long as I am okay.  Thanks for asking.

Keep an eye on this guy.  He is going to be the Majority Leader in the House when Boehner becomes Speaker.  Watch how he answers question...or doesn't.

My plan on health care:  Keep it but, drop the part that makes states pay for those that don't have insurance.  Also, add in some tort reform.  Ask your doctor what his single biggest cost is and he will tell you Malpractice Insurance.  There is an even bigger, hidden cost.  To keep malpractice insurance low, they perform all sorts of needless tests just in case.  I think that every medical symptom should have a list of things to test for.  So long as you follow that list, you are immune from prosecution.  Don't follow the list, lose your job or go to jail or something.

Right now, a doctor can cut off the wrong foot and his insurance will pay out millions.  His rates go up and we all end up paying for the missing foot.  Meanwhile, a guy with a missing foot is now rich.  We pretend the money equals a foot.  There has to be a better way.

On to more important things...

There are two shows over here, in Budapest, that are the equivalent of American Idol.  Now, I never watch shows like this but my wife does so, I am a viewer by default.  There was a sing-off between two women.  The loser would be kicked off the island, or show or something like that.  They sang.  One was good, the other sounded like an injured bloodhound.  The injured bloodhound won.

Now, I know nothing about singing but I can tell when someone forgets words or can't hit the high notes.  This was such an obvious miscarriage of justice.  I couldn't believe what had happened.

The next day, we are having a lunch gathering and the big subject was how this show kicked off the wrong woman.  We started saying stuff like "this show lacks credibility" or "this show won't last if they keep cheating."  Then it hits me.  The show did this on purpose.

By doing what they did, keeping the bloodhound, they managed to draw even me into the drama.  Everyone was talking about their show.  Everyone was already planning to watch the next one to see what other travesty would happen.

Brilliant.

On a final note, have a good day.  I don't mean that in a "pre-packaged" good-bye sort of way.  I really mean it.  Have your morning coffee and read the comics.  Listen to your favorite song on the way to work and say hi to someone you've been thinking about but haven't gotten around to.  Help someone across the street and yield the right of way.  Hold open a door and complement someone.  And, just for today, keep your dart gun in its holster.

Until we all do these things, all of the time, I will be busy...world saving.

Up, up and away.

Future Tripping

Okay, the results are in and the GOP has taken control of the lower house.

What does this mean for you and me?  Well for one thing, tanning will become much more fashionable.  Secondly, almost nothing.

The GOP is already calling for a repeal of Health Care Reform.  They call it ObamaCare because it sounds like one man did this, not a majority elected by you and I.  CNN was interviewing a GOP senator this morning and said, "Half of all Americans want health care reform.  You don't have the votes to repeal it and even if you did, you couldn't override a veto.  The Democrats are willing to work with you.  So what is your plan?"

The answer was, "This vote was about health care (in spite of the fact that nearly 80% said it was about jobs) and I believe in the American people."  He then stopped as if he had answered the question.

Next, CNN asked about what the GOP would cut.  The answer, "This election was about fiscal responsibility.  We need to give tax break to ALL Americans (ignoring the fact that most economists say tax cuts should not be given from borrowed money)"  Once again, he stopped, pretending to have answered the question.

So here comes my prediction.

Nothing is going to happen.  The GOP will introduce bill after bill to repeal this or that and nothing will pass.

This is actually good news.  Here is why:

1. Nancy Pelosi is out and hopefully won't be back.  She was completely ineffectual
2. The GOP will have to try and get stuff done.  This is a new idea to them.
3. The GOP will fail and have no one to blame but themselves.
4. Two years from now, the GOP will be out once again.

I heard of a cartoon where Obama is talking with Boehner.  Obama says, "So, you have been in office for over two hours now.  Why isn't everything fixed?"

The Tanned One is on television as I type this.  He is already setting the stage to explain his coming failure.  He said, "We must remember that the president is the one responsible, not us."  Expect to hear this a lot as the GOP continues to flounder.

For the record, I was a Republican but changed parties 6 months ago when I no longer wanted to be associated with the GOP tactics.  I voted across partly lines - mostly throwing encumbants out.  I want the GOP to succeed, not because they are GOP, but because success means we are all better off.  Unfortunately, they will fail because they define success as "We are in control and you are not."

I watched Family Guy last night.  Lois was running for mayor.  She discovered that when she said something substantial, people booed.  She then said, "9/11" and everyone cheered.  This is like the GOP.  They don't give details about what they are going to do.  They say "Jobs" and we all cheer.  They say, "It's someone else's fault," and we all nod wisely.

I am not sure if we are electing retarded people to office or if its actually us that are riding on the "special" bus.

Now more than ever, the world needs some saving.

Up, up and away...

Scary Faces

Now that this topic occurs to me, I wish I had thought of it a couple of days ago.

We've all heard about terms like "Love at first sight," or "First impressions are important."  I recently read a book titled BLINK which gives a bit of background on where these ideas may have come from.  The basic idea is that there is a lot of proof to suggest that we make better decisions when we are not overloaded with too much information.

Makes sense to me.

There are other books and such out there that talk about body language etc.  All of it tends to tell me that if I have an initial option about someone, just from the way they look, I may not be too far off.  Someone's appearance gives us a lot of information, much of which never makes it to our conscious, reasoning mind.   The brain takes in 400 billion bits of information a second, but we are only aware of 2,000 of those.  Aware is the key word.

I think my mind makes a lot of decisions based on those bits I am not aware of.  I could be wrong, and I probably am...but maybe I'm right.

Here are three faces that scare me for reasons I cannot put my finger on.

Here is the Pope.  From the moment he was first elected, I questioned the wisdom of choosing a guy that looks inherently evil.  I am not Catholic and tend to shake my head in disbelief when people tell me God has an open door policy as far as the Pope is concerned.  To me, he looks evil.  If I were to be in charge of casting for a Broadway version of A Christmas Carol, my first move would be to see if the Pope was available for the part of Scrooge.

The next guy is John Boehner, a leader in the Republican Party.  With him, I have a little more information to go on.  I have just voted, criss-crossing all party lines but, if I ever saw his name on a ballot, I would probably cut it out and throw it in the trash.  His aura, if there is such a thing, is dark.  He is a doom-sayer and thus, a doom-bringer.  If there is an anti-Christ, he would look like Boehner.  Visually, I get the impression of one that is not too bright but doesn't want you to know it.  On the plus side, he does seem to tan evenly.

And just to balance the scales, here is Nancy Pelosi.  While she has a certain Evil Witch of the West look about her, I see a controller. She is a female version of Montgomery Burns on the Simpsons. She is powerful and capable of wielding her power to great effect.  This could be a good thing but when I search for an aura, I only find bleakness.  She doesn't care about me - she cares about the power.  Power is her master, her constituent.

I realize that these views, in some cases wholly unsubstantiated, may not be fair.  But that's to be expected since my view is from the cheap seats.

Now to slip into a closet and don my own aura of Red, White a Blue for I must fight for Truth, Justice and the American way... and there is world saving to be done.  There is always a world to save.

Up, up and away...