Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Food For Thought

People are always coming up to me and saying, "Jim, what can I make that is quick, healthy and filled with multiple taste explosions?"

Actually that almost never happens.  And, when I say "almost never", I mean "never."

However, I am ready should it ever come up.

Here is my recipe for Orgasmic Tuna Melt.

As always, make sure you measure everything precisely according to my directions.

In a bowl, stir in 4 or 5 cans of tuna, 1 heaping handful of celery (diced), about a half a red bell pepper (diced), 1 heaping handful of apple (diced), some salt and pepper and about 2 gigantic tablespoons of Mayo or maybe sour cream.  Once you have this concoction, you can keep it in the refrigerator until it starts to smell bad.  When that happens, either throw it out or add some basil and lemon, and then throw it out.

However, it should be good for several days.  So, it's there when you need a quickie.

To make a quick snack, toast two slices of whole wheat bread.  I know that whole wheat bread tastes like cardboard, but toasted, all bread tastes pretty much the same, so toast it.  Then add the mixture from above.  On top of the mixture, put a thin slice of tomato.  Next, put a slice of cheese onto each one and broil.  Be careful not to overcook as this delicacy will turn into charcoal after 5 minutes.  Just wait until the cheese has melted.

Eat.

Now onto politics. Tonight is the first debate between the two candidates for governor in California.  Meg Whitman is the GOP candidate.  She is the former CEO of EBAY and has spend $119 million of her own money to buy the office.  She has no political experience and has never voted.

In the other corner is Jerry Brown.  He has been in politics for his entire life, including a stint as California governor.  My biggest complaint about him is he dated Linda Ronstadt just when I was working up the courage to ask her out.

Here is my prediction of the debate:

A question will be asked.

Whitman will follow a script, giving no details and then turn the topic to Jerry Brown failures.

Brown will talk about past successes and press Whitman for more detail which he knows she does not have.

Let's see if I am correct.

In national news, I was watching Hardball with Chris Matthews.  He had a GOP rep on as well as a democrat.

In the house, the Democrats refuse to vote on the tax-cut issue in the house until they know it will pass in the senate.  The reason is that a half-passed bill is a liability in the upcoming elections.  The GOP, on the other hand says, "We should vote on the bill so the American people know where everyone stands."  However, this same GOP is filibustering in the senate to prevent a vote there so the Democrats will have a half-passed bill going into elections.

When Matthews pressed the GOP guy about the filibuster,  the GOP guy ignored the question and answered something else.

The conversation turned to the GOP Pledge to American.  Matthews said, "You said you would cut wasteful spending.  What specifically will you cut?"  The GOP guy, once again started talking about stuff like "We want to create jobs."  Matthews smiled and shook his head while saying, "You can never get the GOP to tell you what they want to cut because they don't have any idea."

I want to be a Republican.  However, I refuse to join the idiots in charge of the party right now.

I am still waiting on my wife's green card.  It's been almost 2 weeks since they said it was approved and in the mail.  It's no wonder that we have so many undocumented aliens in this country.  It's impossible to come in legally.

I have a lot more to say on that subject but for now, I answer to a different calling...

I have a world to save.

Up, up and away...

j