Sunday, April 24, 2011

Breaking News

They said it couldn't be done.  They said it was a big waste of time.  But now it has been achieved.

Yes, I'm talking about the Large Hadron Collider.  It set a new world record in Beam Intensity.

I can see it now, one physicist holding out his hand to another saying, "See.  Told ya.  Now pay up the $5 you owe me."

Actually, I think this is great science.  I just think its too complicated for you mortals, and us semi-mortals to understand.  I think the goal of science should be to discover the mythical graviton.  Once we have that little bugger, all we have to do is turn it upside down (or maybe inside out) and we all get to fly.

I have a high school reunion coming up.  This will be my 35th.  Not reunion, but years since I graduated.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  We all threw our hats in the air and then everyone carried me around on their shoulders.  No, wait.  That was a dream.  I'm actually too old to remember what really took place so I am rounding up to the nearest heroic incident.

I am going to make a fortune making and selling a Hungarian biscuit called a Pagacsa (Pa-gotcha).  These highly fattening  treats are extremely addictive.  On the scale of all things addictive, they fall between heroin and crack cocaine.  Although, they are slightly less dangerous to your health; and yet, they are street legal.  That's the beauty of it.  My plan is to give a few out for free and then charge a premium for those that come by wanting to mainline my biscuits.

I went to a Hungarian garden party today.  I met a bunch of interesting people.  One man makes Man-camps.  These are ready made villages they set up at remote mining sites.  He is also training to be a Shaman.  Another fellow, just retired from his job at the Hungarian Ministry of Foreign Affairs.  He's been there his entire adult life and saw the changes that span from a Soviet Occupation to a free democracy.  Another guy was a doctor preparing to make a major presentation in Moscow.  The entire range of people and personalities was a real treat.  About half spoke English.

Here is a picture of what it looks like in the countryside here.  I'm not sure what the plant is but in places its yellow for miles.  In a few months, the sunflower fields will start to bloom.  Stunning...

No news to complain about other than McCain wants to go to war against Libya.  I think that if we are not going to learn from our past, why not just quit teaching history altogether.  Maybe we can teach magic classes instead - the kind where you can do the same thing over and over but every time you get a different result.  Unlike real life.

I want to make sure to wish everyone a Happy Easter - so Happy Easter!

Does anyone know where the Easter Bunny and Egg come from?  I think I do.  Here in Hungary, they have this tradition where, on Easter, a boy or man will recite a poem to someone he is fond of.  He then asks if he can spray her.  If she likes him, she will say yes and allow herself to be sprayed by water or maybe perfume.

Once she is sprayed, she hands the fellow an egg.  This sounds like a Springtime fertility rite.  So that is where the egg comes in.  As for the rabbit...I'm thinking they threw that in because rabbits are fertile and make for excellent marketing.

I wrote a poem for my wife.  Here, they actually read the poems on Monday.

Open any newspaper and you will know were I am - world saving.

Up, up and away...

jim