Monday, May 23, 2011

Liar Liar Pants on Fire...

Lance....

I mean, come on dude.

Sports Illustrated came out with a big Expose and now 60 minutes had one of their own last night.  In my world, if its on 60 minutes, then you know its true.  Everyone, even his best friends are saying "He did it.  I know this because I saw him do it."

The only thing that could possibly be more compelling would be if Lance Armstrong put on an infomercial during which he injected himself with some sort of "Mother's Little Helper."

I guess he should probably send back the yellow jerseys or whatever it is he's won.

The problem here is if he gives up his wins, the newly crowned winner is likely to be just as guilty.

I can understand why they all do it.  Hamilton was pretty convincing on last night's show.  But to look us right in the face as say "I didn't do it now hold me on your shoulders and carry me around as the beacon of inspiration that I truly am" somehow doesn't feel right.

Onward...

2012 just keeps on coming.  A huge tornado hit a hospital in Missouri last night.  The day before, a volcano erupted in Iceland. It's not that any of this is unusual taken one at a time.  Japan has always had earthquakes.  The Mississippi floods sometimes.  Its just that over the last several months, we've been having "Floods of a lifetime" or "Biggest tsunami ever" or "So much volcanic ash planes are grounded" or "300+ tornadoes across five states".  All of the  natural disasters tend to be bigger and more consolidated than normal.

This does not bode well for us earthquake conscious people here in California.  We have to be moving up the list of Once In A Lifetime Catastrophic Events.

Here is Alaska's Catastrophic Event: Sarah Palin has a fire in her belly.  This is a fire that can only be quenched with a run for the presidency (or possibly more cowbell).

There has been some moaning over the loss of the Huckabee ticket.  I like this guy and wouldn't mind having him over for dinner.  However, I see nothing special about him as a candidate for president.  It seems that people would vote for him because he's "God Fearing."  I don't get that.  We can all believe what we want and vote for whomever we want.   But being a man of God does not a president make.

Obama has had to restate his position on the Israeli-Palestinian thing.  It seems that the Israeli's are threatening to not resume negotiations starting with the 1967 borders - Instead opting for a lockout followed by a brief exchange of mortar fire.

I make fun of this but I realize its hard to negotiate when both sides are certain that they are in the right.  One time I served as a mediator between a large city and its bus service.  I went in thinking, "I will find a win-win solution."  It didn't take long for me to discover that the best I would be able to do would be to piss off both sides equally.

I had a great weekend. I do feel a little low at having been left behind after the rapture on Saturday.  Oh well, maybe next time.

There are those of us that have been left behind.  We all need saving and I'm just the guy to do it.

Up, up and away...

jim


This video is for those of you that didn't get the "more cowbell" reference.