I have elected to start my very own political party. You are invited to join but I must warn you - membership is highly exclusive.
There is only one rule for joining: You cannot be an idiot.
Now for my/our platform:
1. Every politician must have a website where he or she tells how they voted that day and why. Statements are limited to 50 words or less.
2. Every politician's website has a referee from the opposing party that must verify that the content is correct. Should anything incorrect or misleading be discovered, the offender must spend the day in a clown suit.
4. All money collected for any reason must be posted on the website. Who gave it and how much.
5. All compensation for politicians is zero during any year they spend more money than they take in. Exceptions can be made for wars, but only those wars not started to make your dad proud of you.
6. Any filibustering must be done while wearing a clown suit.
7. If you vote along party lines more than 80% of the time, you are not being true to yourself or those you represent. You get the clown suit until the average drops below 80%.
8. If you get caught lying or cheating and try to get away with it. You go to jail and have to wear a clown suit the entire time you are there. If you fess up to your crime, no jail but one month in the clown suit.
9. Any verifiable hypocrisy gets you the firing squad. During the event, you will be in a clown suit.
10. Daily brain scans will be taken while you posting to your blog. A scan will show indications of lying. I know this is true because I saw it on House.
Now I know what you are thinking.
"This is all great stuff but where in the world are we going to get enough clown suits?"
Good question. I suggest we borrow them from the Tea Party - the largest voting block of clowns anywhere.
So, are you in?
Think about it. I could use some help saving the world.
Up, up and away...
jim
