It started when a tanned man entered the room.
His suit is impeccable. He picks up a piece of chalk and writes his name on the board before turning to his students.
"Good morning class. My name is Speaker Boehner and I will be your instructor. Today we will be discussing how to achieve our overall goal of Ascension to Power."
"First of all, let's look at our base. You can see by this pie chart that 1% of our base consists of the richest people in the country. 14% of our base thinks that the Earth is 6,000 years old and that Jesus should run for president. 40% of our base had their soft spot poked when they were young and as a result, are unable to blink both eyes simultaneously. These are more commonly known as Tea Party members. The majority, 45% are fear based."
"Mr. Speaker, don't the rich already pay the lowest tax rate of about 14% because most of their wealth is not taxed as income? Additionally, how will we pay for roads and education if we keep giving money to those that already have it? Finally, won't someone suspect what we are up to?"
"Those are all excellent questions. First of all, you can never have too much money. If we don't cater to the rich, they may elect others to represent them instead of us. To keep our jobs, we need to cater to this 1%. As far as roads are concerned, we'll worry about that later; besides the soft spotters...I mean the Tea Party members will like that we are making cuts. They don't know what that means but they know they like it. Finally, we'll just say Democrats = tax hikes and that will bring the Fearful ones running to our side."
Turning to the class as a whole, Boehner continues.
"You see class, our entire party is based on sound bites. For example, we say that tax breaks for the rich will create jobs. Everyone knows that is nonsense. Customers create jobs not the rich. If no one is buying, no one will be selling. Still, we say it as if we believe it and it works. We also say, "make more cuts" all the while knowing that cuts have only a very small impact. None of our economic policies have worked in the past. You can't find an economist of note willing to back our current proposal. Even the Chairman of the Federal Reserve thinks our tax cuts for the rich is ridiculous (see clip below). However, the rich will be richer and that is all that really matters. After all, they are the ones that put us here."
I'll admit, this was a really weird dream. I then turned on the television only to discover I must still be dreaming.
I really, really wish that someone would show me how I am wrong about all of this. I've asked several times and could only hear the echo of an empty room. I think even Republicans are embarrassed by their own party. 4 years ago, I was one of them.
This just in. Obama, speaking to supporters after the press left the room said the following about GOP budget crafter Paul Ryan:
"When Paul Ryan says his priority is to make sure, he's just being America's accountant ... This is the same guy that voted for two wars that were unpaid for, voted for the Bush tax cuts that were unpaid for, voted for the prescription drug bill that cost as much as my health care bill -- but wasn't paid for," Mr. Obama told his supporters. "So it's not on the level."
The clip below is very telling. Look at Boehner squirming as he tries to avoid answering a question that basically shows the entire GOP policy is a loser.
I really need to get away from this political stuff. It's just too frustrating. I'd much rather go back to writing funny stuff about the TSA and M&Ms. But if I completely turn my back on the GOP's fairy tales, who will save the world?
For the moment, my work here is done.
Up, up and away...
j
