Road Food

I have made it as far as Kentucky.

It was a nice trip on a nearly empty plane.  I had empty seats on each side of me and spent most of the flight spooning my laptop.

This morning, I woke up in a hotel, nothing unusual about that.  However, my stomach is...disappointed in me.  I have somehow let it down.  I decide to backtrack my diet on my travel day.  If I can find the source, then I can keep this from happening again.

Breakfast was Apple and Cinnamon oatmeal.  I bring that with me to Hungary since it is hard to get there. I love that stuff.  No problems so far.

The airplane food was great.  I am possibly the only person that loves airplane food.  I like it the way my dog likes dinner time.  He gets a small morning snack and is starved by the time dinner shows up.  I could feed him sawdust for dinner and he wouldn't notice.  When the food finally shows up on an airplane, I am so hungry that I scarf it down in huge gulps.  Once I think I sucked down a napkin, thinking it was mashed potates.

Somewhere over the land of volanoes, I got hungry again.  I bought two large bags of Peanut M&Ms - proof that God does exists.  I love those things.  I tried to eat one at a time but, in the end, alas... gone in 60 seconds.

Overall, nothing out of the ordinary so far.

I land in Kentucky.  An interesting side note here.  I had to pass my bags/body through security to LEAVE the airport.  I guess the message is that if you brought any bombs with you on the plane, you need to leave them with the customs officials.  I make a mental note.

The hotel is about 10 minutes from the airport.  I am, of course, starved so I pull out my GPS and type in KFC.  I need some American food.  I love Hungarian cuisine but its time to pay tribute to the land of immediate gratification.  I am surprised to see there are 11 KFCs within six miles of my position.  I think, "I must be near the KFC mother ship." Then it hits me.  I am in Kentucky.  I think the zoning laws here mandate a certain chicken density.

So, I cruse into the nearest KFC and grab a bucket of extra crispy, chicken only.  The other stuff just gets in the way of flavor.  I know it's not a balanced diet but figure I'll take an extra vitamin pill later to fill in the gaps.

I pull out of the KFC trying to resist eating it in the car, knowing I don't have the willpower.  I am reaching for a leg, the easiest thing to eat while driving and what do I see?  There is a Taco Bell only half a block away.  Five minutes later, I am cruising to my hotel with 10,000 calories of grease and carbs in the seat next to me.

Ten minutes after checking in, I fall back onto my bed completely content.  Nothing says "satisfaction" like a bucket of KFC with two double-cheesy burrito backers.

So, my menu review yielded nothing out of the ordinary.

I pop a couple of Pepto Bismo tablets (the cure for everything stomach) and move on.  


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j