Traveling Blues

I travel all the time; probably 150,000 miles a year or so.  I have learned to be tolerant - up to a point.

I understand that flights are late or overbooked.  I understand summer vacation is here and airports are crowded.  but there are some things I just don't get.

When I booked my ticket on United to Budapest, I was told that the 10-hour leg was on Lufthansa and therefore, they could not give me a seat.  This is important because the longer you wait, the more likely it is that you get a middle row seat.  I call Lufthansa and they tell me that since United booked it, United must give me the seats.  So, I go back and forth.

In the end, Lufthansa says they cannot release a seat to me until I get to the airport.  I am not overly worried because at the time of booking, the plane was basically empty.  I get to the airport, 6 hours before my second leg, the Lufthansa leg, and find that I have been given a middle seat.  No one could be earlier than me and yet they all got assigned seats.  I made it to Los Angeles (more on that in a minute) and at the Lufthansa counter, I tried to get a better seat.  No luck.  When I asked if there was a secret handshake or something that I was doing wrong, she got mad.  I just walked away; their job is hard enough without me making it worse.

So, I am at LAX.  This place reminds me of bus depot in a third world country.  It is filthy and completely disorganized.  Every time I come through here I marvel that this is the best Los Angeles can do.  Right now its about 80 outside and 90 inside.

So I make it to the TSA donut lounge, also known as airport security.  There are about five squads of blue shirts talking about yesterday's ball game and two people working a line that stretches to Baltimore.  I finally got through and looked up the TSA agent in charge.  I told him that if he worked for me, I would fire him on the spot.  He looked at me with the same expression as a cow watching a car drive by.

I told my business partner that we could eliminate all screening if, when a terrorists tries to take over a plane, handguns fall from the overhead compartment.  My business partner responded with, "That or bottles of shampoo."  The sad part is that this is true.  TSA places the same threat on a 4 oz bottle of shampoo as they do on a bazooka.

Okay, so I am complaining a bit.  I had to dump it somewhere.

Off to my next flight.

j