The Teacher's Edition to Life

I don't know much about, well just about anything.  However, I have this theory.  It goes like this, "Say it like you mean it and people will believe you."  This is not something new.  Politicians have been doing it from the beginning of time. Televangelists do it by the truckload.  Everyone does it.  I'm just jumping on the bandwagon.

So, if you want to know the answers the all of the important questions, you can either turn to the back of the book or read on...

Question #1: How can we create more jobs in California?
Answer #1:  There are two things you can do.  First of all, give companies a reason to come here.  We don't need to make money off of the company itself.  Let's make it off of the income tax its employees pay.  Right now we have neither the company or its employees.  Let Intel come to California and not pay corporate tax to the state for 5 years.  In the mean time, jobs are created, taxes are paid, homes are built etc.  Secondly, change the labor laws in the state.  California is the only state that mandates overtime after 8 hours in a day.  The result is that we only have 8-hour workdays here.  There are no short weeks.  Everyone commutes 5 times a week.  You could have overtime over 40 hours as the only overtime rule.  This means that people could work ten 12-hour shifts in a 3-week period instead of fifteen 8-hour shifts.  That's 5 more days off every three weeks or 87 more days off per year.  That's 87 fewer commutes; savings in gas and road repairs and savings in traffic reduction.  All of the other states do this.  Why not California?

Question #2: Is Meg Whitman really a man?
Answer #2: Possibly.  However, I think this stink over her maid is overblown.  I'm more concerned about her lack of experience than I am about who she hired to clean her windows.

Question #3: Which cars have the highest percentage of assholes behind the wheel?
Answer #3: This is an easy one.  BMWs by a large margin.


Question #4: What's the best movie I have seen this year?
Answer #4: Easily it's The Social Network.

Question #5:  What makes people want to tailgate?
Answer #5: A big car with an aggressive driver equals a man with a small penis trying to overcompensate.

Question #6: Why don't we always get what we pray for?
Answer #6: We do.  We just don't know it all the time.  When we signed up for This Life, we signed up for the journey, not the finish line.  The anticipation of Christmas is always better than the actual event.  Life's like that.  If we knew everything and had everything then where is the adventure?  Life is an E-ticket.  Ride the Matterhorn.  If you want to ride Dumbo, that's the next line over.

Question #7: What's the best sport out there?
Answer #7: High school wrestling - period.

Question #8: What did John Lennon do when his grandfather told him his sex drive would never go away and what did Alexander the Great do when he saw there were no more worlds to conquer?
Answer #8:  They both wept.

Question #9: What is NaNoWriMo?
Answer #9: National Novel Writing Month and it falls in November.  I am in a NaNoWriMo contest in which I have to write a 50,000 word book during the month.  Wish me luck.

Question #10:  How do I decide to write another blog entry?
Answer #10:  When it looks like people are done reading my previous one (unusually 2-4 days) and when I feel the need to unload (like after a guy in a BMW tailgated me this morning).

Last Question:  Do you have any more answers for us?
Last Answer:  Yes I do, but they will have to wait.  I have a world to save.

Up, up and away...

j