Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Thoughts on Food

I sometimes wonder why I am not completely spherical - given my relationship with food.

I had a friend once that told me he was going for the elliptical look; skinny on top and bottom but wide in the middle.  Sounds like I could be headed that way, along with the rest of America.  I can make a profit perhaps by opening my own store: Jim's Tall and/or Elliptical.

It's not that I don't try.  I haven't had a Peanut M&M for months; not since by brush with a sugar coma following a particularly long flight with a Duty Free sized jumbo bag buckled into the seat next to me.

However, my M.O.  is unchanged.

I find something I like and then do it until I'm sick of it.

Take last night, for example.  I'm in Clearfield, Utah, driving to a plant when I see that Burger King has 40 chicken tenders for $10.  Across the street, McDonald's has 50 McNuggets for the same price.  They are having a price war to see who can sell the most chicken-like, fat-fried products during the month of February.

I send an SMS to my food consultant (AKA Matt, my seventeen year old son) and ask for his opinion on the McNuggets.  He comes back with, "Sounds like a once in a lifetime opportunity."

So on my way back to my hotel, later that evening, I stop by and pick up a giant box of the delicacies.  Never mind that I had just eaten 10 of them a couple of hours earlier.  That was just "paving the way." I try to act like I am ordering for a family of six but they see through me, asking, "Will that be for here or to go?"  I look around and I am the only one in the place.

They know!

I take them back to my hotel and after 18 minutes, there is just me and the aftermath which includes the remains of eight different dipping sauces.  It was harder than I had thought.  Turns out, there is a limit to how many McNuggets I can hold (unlike my infinite capacity for M&Ms).  I hit the wall at 40 but pressed onward.

I may never eat another McNugget...ever.

On to other news...

Is it just me or is there a lot of "Watch a redneck" reality television going on?  I've see some advertisements where a couple of fat guys get drunk and then try to capture alligators with their bare hands.  They all seem to be missing most of their teeth. 

The economy seems to be on track for a recovery which means its "out" as far as news goes.  For the last two days, there have only been two stories: Snow everywhere and riots in Egypt.  Too bad it doesn't snow in Egypt or we would be able to get it down to just one big news story.

As I write this, my dog is bugging me.  He is a big guy that likes his routines.  When I am home, there are times for snacks, times for walks, times for everything.  He has this internal clock that is very accurate.  For example, every morning at work, he comes over to remind me at 8am that it's time for our morning walk.  He is never off by more than five minutes.  Today, I threw off his timing by coming home in the middle of the day from a few days of traveling.  Now he's not sure what the schedule should be.  I think he is starting to make stuff up like, "time to walk while you feed me treats."  Here is a picture of him playing Monopoly with my kids.  He is not very good at it; tending to be risk-adverse and prone to bad deal making.

Bush's daughter is pro-gay marriage.  Interesting for only one reason:  Why would anyone care what Bush's daughter thinks?  That alone makes it news, I guess.  I picked up on it because they squeezed it in between footage of "Guy on camel with Molotov cocktail," and "Car sliding sideways across the Arctic wasteland of middle America."

Someday soon, we will look back on this whole gay thing as see it in very much the same light we now see the Salem Witch hunts.

HealthCare is unconstitutional or at least some of it is.  I actually think its a good thing that the Bush family judge (aka a federal judge from Florida) found parts of Health Care Reform unconstitutional.  First of all, I agree that we should not be forced to buy health care.  However, if you don't buy it, then you need to be held accountable for payment somehow.  You can't just say, "No thanks, I think I will let you pay for my health care for me."  Secondly, people that are benefiting from the current Health Care Reform may become a little more vocal in support of it instead of sitting there quietly, enjoying its benefits while those that created it are beat-up.

I am going to really love this football game.  Two of the old-time teams going at it.  I can't pick a winner and I'm not sure who I will root for.  Right now, I will probably wait until half time and then root for whomever is behind, hoping for a memorable comeback.  People are picking scores in the low twenties.  I think both teams will score in the thirties.

I will be watching the game from a hotel room.   I would like to stay home or maybe go to a Superbowl party but, I have a world to save...

Up, up and away...

jim

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