I did a good deed - a boy scout type thing.
That's not the embarrassing part. The embarrassing part was that I noticed. I thought, "Hey, I just did a good deed."
This is not how it is supposed to happen. Maybe it is better said, "This is not how I want it to happen with me." I think of myself as a good person; a nice guy that is always willing to help. However, if that was really true, I don't think it would be so noticeable to me when I do a good deed.
Part one was the embarrassment.
But there was more. I realized that I had been lagging in the good deed category. At the same time, it felt good to do something nice for someone else. I actually got an unsolicited return of "feeling good about myself" for doing something for someone else. I immediately sought out another good deed to do. I wanted to feel good about myself and I didn't want to be such a stranger to the event.
Here is the deal - for me. I am not at a place where being good deeder comes as spontaneously as I would like. To compensate for this, I have a plan. I maintain a spread sheet of things I want to do every day. I have added "Do a good deed" to that list. Perhaps with practice, I will start to approach being the person I want to be in this regard.
I have noticed that there are a lot of things that I can control in my life if I make a conscious effort. For example, I know I am going to have a bad day from time to time. If I wait for this to happen and then try to find my way out of it, I am going to fail. It's like falling overboard and then thinking, "Maybe its time to learn to swim." When I am smart, and I am almost never smart, I plan ahead. I know I will have a bad day so I make sure I have a list of things I can do or think about that will help me get out of the funk.
If you have read some of my blogs, you make remember that I have written about this before.
That's okay. Writing about it is all part of my preparation. When fear or worry grips me, I know where the path to the light lies. I know because I marked it ahead of time.
Happy Mothers Day to all of you moms out there. I have a great mom. I had a great mother-in-law who died way too early. I now have another mother-in-law and she is great.
http://www.worldgratitudelist.com Leave a list. Read a list. Be happy.
j
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