Saturday, September 18, 2010

Why to blog?

I mentioned to my business partner that writing my blog was Cathartic.  Not too long after that I decided to look up the word.  Cathartic means laxative or something used to purge or cleanse.  Nice to know.

Like I said, my blog is Cathartic.

I have decided what I would stand for should I ever run for public office.  A vote for me would be a vote for the elimination of Bureaucratic Waste.  We all say stuff like, "lower taxes," and "smaller government," but I have discovered what that means.  We are not against teachers and firefighters and good roads.  We are against waste.  We are against the 15 national security agencies that serve as self-replicating employment shops.  How many agencies does it take to interpret a super-secret memo?  Apparently 15.

Some of you know about my bout with Immigration Services.  I married a foreign national and they told us, "You must get a green card for her to enter."  She got a green card and came and went several times over the next 2 years.  They then said, "No more green card for you."  The reason: She didn't live here full time.  No green card means she can't even visit.  Why, because she is married to me and might attempt to stay.  They told her she couldn't live here because she didn't already live here and then told her she couldn't visit because she didn't have a green card and may want to live here.  Just like the time they turned down (a few years back) a request for her to extend her 6 month visit.  We filled out a form called, "Request to extend your stay."  It was turned down because, "It appears you want to extend your stay."  This entire paragraph is true!!  As opposed to much of what I write - stuff that I invent it in my head.

The Department of Homeland Security is responsible for the 15 security agencies, the need to check your toothpaste at the gate and Immigration Services.  If elected, my first job would be the elimination of this department.  In fact, I may deport the whole batch and make them follow their own rules for gaining reentry.

Now that I'm on the political stump, I just want to say, Meg Whitman is a joke.  Jerry Brown has run one television ad.  In it, he says specifically what he wants to do.  Meg has spend over 115 million dollars telling me about the crime rate in Oakland.  When confronted by some students on her negative ads, she responded, "I have a duty to point out Jerry Brown's record."  What she has done is paid someone to find a disparaging statistic and then she tells us about it on television.  I guess that makes her qualified to do what....spend money?  Saying, "The crime rate in Oakland went up 50%" implies that she has a plan.  What it really means is that she found a stat and is acting like its all his fault and she has some magic to make it better.  I can Google Oakland's record on crime myself.  I want to know what She will do.  So far - nothing.

Now, I have to mention food.

I was in Chicago's O'hare airport on Wednesday.  I managed to not stop at Johnny Rocket for a double cheese and grease burger.  I almost rewarded myself with a Johnny Rocket Milk Shake but then realized I might as well eat some Peanut M&Ms.  So, I head to my gate where my plane was delayed for about an hour.  No problem, I spent the time staring at the Chocolate covered nut stand right there at the gate.  The only way I was able to withstand the temptation was to turn my back on the stand and walk right into the food court where I bought a large frozen chocolate yogurt.  My will is strong...except in the face of temptation.

My business partner is this super-genius kind of guy.  He has invented his own App for those of you with an Android phone.  Apparently, these phones are power hogs.  If you forget to turn it off or plug it in at night, you wake up with a brick.  His App will turn off you phone's biggest power suckers at night and then turn it back on in the morning.  Here is a link to his App: http://droidtoolworks.com/sleepy-android/  I may have led him to believe that people actually read my blog.  He expects this to go viral so be the first on your block to own one.

And finally, Senator Diane Feinstein and her aide, Jessica Hartzell, fixed my wife's immigration problem so I want to publicly say thank you to both of them.  I sat next to Senator Feinstein on a plane last year.  I didn't know it was her.  My first words were, "Has anyone ever told you that you look just like Senator Feinstein?"  And she replies, "Yes, I get that a lot."

Lest I forget, a tip-of-the-hat to all of my FB friends.  I'm sure their positive thoughts helped.

Until I am elected to office, or maybe decide to run, I will lurk in the shadows doing what I do best...

World Saving...

Up, up and away...

j

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for the plug. My sales today have doubled from yesterday! Keep it coming folks. Droid Tool Works .

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  2. Funny blog, Jim, and I really like the new look. I'm very glad your wife's problems were fixed. You managed to find one kind, caring politician. It's a miracle!

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  3. Thanks Laura. A caring politician...imagine that.

    Jim

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