Crock Pot Alchemy

Back by popular demand (popular demand = 3 or more requests), I am adding another chapter to my collection of kitchen tips and cooking recipes.

Today, I will start with my crock pot.  This is a device that cooks stuff really slow.  You basically put anything you want into the pot, plug it in and then go on vacation.  When you return, there will be a sumptuous meal waiting for you.

I use it as a meat tenderizer.  I try not to eat a lot of red meat but when I do, I know where to go for the best deals in town.  Safeway has this area at the end of their meat isle where they put food that is minutes away from going bad.  I am of the opinion that if I can apply enough heat to anything, it becomes safe for consumption.  So I buy all of my meat there.  I call it "meat on the cusp."  It's right on the verge of converting to the dark side.

Earlier this week, I bought some of this "choice" meat.  It was basically a roast the size and shape of a deflated soccer ball.  Since it was not quite brown, I decided to leave it in the fridge overnight for a little more aging.  In the morning, I plopped it into the crock pot.  The plan was to come home about noon and take it out.  However, I forgot all about it.  I came home later that evening surprised to find the crock pot on my counter.  It had been cooking that meat for over 10 hours!  I ran over expecting to find a briquette inside.  Instead, there was the most perfect, tender roast of all time.

This is not to say that crock pots can't make mistakes.  A few months back I used it to turn a package of split peas into a blunt instrument.  Here it the recipe:  Add 1 package of split peas and some water.  Go on vacation.  When you come back you will find you have created a giant green block suitable as either construction material or maybe a boat anchor.

Now for the perfect dessert.  This is guaranteed to blow away any diet.  Make one batch of instant chocolate pudding.  Next, make one batch of instant butterscotch pudding.  Set these two next to each other, along with an open container of Cool Whip.  Take a wooden spoon (regular spoons are too small).  Fill the spoon with one part chocolate pudding, one part butterscotch pudding and two parts Cool Whip.  Eat.

There you have it.  I am at the airport so I need to run catch my plane. 

Bon Apetite!!

jim

Jury Duty Sign-up Sheet

I voted today.  I did it via absentee ballot.  I know that by voting, I have just been added to the list for jury duty, but that's the price I pay for voting.

How did it go?  Well, thanks for asking.

In a nutshell, if you are in office now, I voted you out.  I know that some of those in office are doing a great job.  I consider them unfortunate casualties.  All elected officials need to know that if they can't do their jobs, they are gone.  I may have fired a good person.  I am certain that there are more good ones waiting in the wings.  I don't subscribe to the Wall Street philosophy that those working for them now are irreplaceable.

There are two things on the ballot I think worthy of a closer look.  Now, some of these are local so forgive me if I depart from my typical rambling of generalities.

Proposition 16: The sole sponsor for this proposition is Pacific Gas and Electric, the biggest power supplier in California.  They think it is a shame that some counties are looking into alternative sources of power.  These would be green sources as well as sources that can provide the power more cheaply.  Across the country, places are doing this with a great deal of success.  The only loser is the company that had the monopoly in the first place - in this case, PG&E. This giant power company claims what they really want is voter approval before the county spends any money looking into alternative power.  To make sure the county has approval, they set the bar at 2/3 vote.  PG&E is positioning themselves as the savior of taxpayer dollars instead of the greedy company trying to maintain their monopoly.

Proposition 17: The advertisements say, "We get a savings if we keep our car continuously insured but we can only use that savings by staying with the same car company. Proposition 17 will allow us to take that savings to any car company."  The first thing that strikes me about this is how trivial it is.  Do I really need to vote on this?  The second thing is that it is supported by Mercury auto insurance. Apparently, they have used this tactic in several states.  Their payback is in the small print.  That is where it says if you let your insurance lapse for any length of time, the insurance company can jack up your rates.  This is a way to get around state regulated insurance rate.  In many instances, Mercury has jacked up rates over 200%.  Right now, Mercury has a major advertising blitz going on so you will think of them first when their proposition passes.

PG&E and Mercury auto insurance, two companies I throw in the bin with Wall Street bankers.

Side note:  more cooking tips coming your way later this week.

http://www.worldgratitudelist.com

j

Favorite Links

Here are a few of my favorite links to Youtube.com

I would love to see some of yours.  Funny ones are best but I like a lot of different types.


Here is Jack Cramer ranting before the housing meltdown.  He saw all of this coming before anyone else.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWksEJQEYVU


Here is Lewis Black (I am not normally a fan) talking about Glenn Beck.  This is a must see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMOh9L60FKw


Here is John Stewart on Crossfire...priceless

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFQFB5YpDZE&feature=fvst


A comedy sketch that is hilarious.  If you only watch one of these, this is it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqQk4pCzBtY&feature=related

That's it for now.  I know this is a short post but I want to leave you time to watch the above.

j

A Short Story

Joyce, a reader, commented that I forgot Arizona on my last post about current events.  While it didn't make my blog, I did write a parody for a writing contest over the weekend.  Here is that story.

Written for the Writers Cramp contest on Writing.com with a word limit of 1,000.

The prompt: It's the year 2492, and dogs and cats have been granted citizenship. Write about the first cat President, and the scandal that rocks his or her Presidency.

Press Conference

“Mr. President. Mr. President.”

President McMeow looked out over the sea of hands and paws. He knew this wasn’t going to be popular but he had obligations. A lot of cat owners, dog haters and cats themselves had contributed to his candidacy. It was time to step up to the table and do what had to be done.

“Mrs. Butterman,” he said, pointing to a grandmotherish woman in the front row. He could count on her to throw him a slow pitch.

She set down her knitting and stood up. “Mr. President, I was just wondering how your first week in office is going. Are you completely moved in?”

Atta girl.

“Yes, Fiona and I are all settled in. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the great state of Virginia for the scratching post. It came yesterday and we’ve already had so much fun with it that we had to move it to the Lincoln bedroom to avoid its temptation. Outta sight – outta mind.”

That got him a few easy laughs. He resisted the urge to purr. That wouldn’t be right given the circumstances.

Once again, the hands started waving furiously. The bloodhound off to the left began to yelp. McMeow tried to ignore him but in the end, he knew he would have to face up to the hard questions.

“Yes, Mr. Sniffster.”

The big dog made a show out of standing up and straightening his color. Finally, “Mr. President, what is this I hear about a new law that requires all dogs to wear collars with their license prominently displayed?”

“I don’t understand the question Mr. Sniffster. All dogs, and cats for that matter, must have their license with them at all times; it’s for their own protection.”

He knew the issue, but he wanted to confuse it as much as possible. Why not? What he said was the truth. He tried to quickly move on to the next questioner but Sniffster was not ready to yield the floor just yet.

“I’m aware of the law Mr. President. I’m just wondering why we need another law that says we should enforce the first one; another law that curiously omits the need to enforce cats and their licenses.”

McMeow tried to ignore the “curiously” remark. Yes, everyone knew he was a cat.

“Mr. Sniffster, it’s not a big deal. Dogs were singled out because, let’s face it, they are more likely to get into trouble than a cat. But really, this is a message to all dogs and cats. Dogs are not going to be singled out unless they do something suspicious. Next question.”

He quickly pointed out a Newfoundland in the back row. Those dogs mostly lay around. He probably hadn’t even heard the previous question.

The Newfie stood and yawned greatly before shaking his head, covering most of the back row in slobber.

“Mr. President, could you describe what “suspicious” means?”

Damn. The beast had been paying attention after all.

“Well, you know, things like mounting other dogs in the park. You know how everyone hates that. Also there is pooping out in the open and barking at things. Stuff like that.”

“You mean stuff that comes down to acting like a dog?”

It was certainly out in the open now. McMeow gripped the podium and leaned forward. In spite of his best efforts, he hissed.

“That’s right. Acting like a dog is what’s wrong with this country. Dogs poop in public and dig holes and stuff. We need to put an end to that right now. I am prepared to build fences around every house that has a dog. It will cost billions but every house with a dog will have a three foot tall fence around it.”

The Newfoundland casually walked over and hiked its leg against the tabby in charge of secret service.

“Dogs do a lot of good. They let people rub their tummies. They sit in laps and lower blood pressure. Most importantly, they keep stray cats out of the yard. By the way, even the smallest dog can jump a three foot tall fence.”

McMeow was becoming upset. He could feel the anger welling up in his stomach. Before he could respond, he paused and hacked up a respectably large hairball.

“But it’s the law!” he finally squawked.

Sniffster jumped up and shouted, “It’s already the law. You’re anti-dog. Admit it. You want to get rid of dogs. What are you going to do when we are gone? Are you going to wag your tail and get excited when your master comes home? Are you going to protect your home against intruders? Are you going to visit hospitals and make the sick feel better? I don’t think so.”

McMeow took a moment to regain composure. “Mrs. Butterman, do you have another question?”

He needed something to redirect the press conference.

As she stood up, a Chihuahua gave her elbow an unexpected nudge; causing her to drop her ball of yarn. The president couldn’t help himself. Ten minutes later, his handlers were untangling him as his eyes began to regain some clarity.

“Now what?” he asked.

“We’ll gather our lobbyists and pollsters together. They will tell us what to do.”

Later that night, as McMeow studied his Payback Checklist, he wondered if he would ever purr again.

Word count 887

 

A note:  I am not sure what the solution is when it comes to immigration.  I know both sides well enough I suppose.  I just don't know where to go from here.  I am certain, however, that the great minds that came up with the fence idea have no clue either.  A fence?!  A $50 ladder can climb right over that fence that costs us thousands of dollars per foot to build.

 

So, the story is just a story.

© Copyright 2010 Hyperiongate (UN: hyperiongate at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Hyperiongate has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

Yet Another Report on Current Events

I write my blogs on current events in sympathy with my son.  His history class has him reading a news article once a week and reporting on it.  So I walk in his shoes.  I find it actually refreshing to read the news through the eyes of a 17-year-old.  It somehow makes things less serious.  Through my pretend young eyes, I can see nothing but bad news.  But I don't worry.  My pretend young mind is telling me it's all happening somewhere else.  My biggest concern is who I will sit buy in the cafeteria during lunch.

So what's going on in the world.

BP finally let the world see the live feed of the underwater leak.  For the last month, they have been estimating 5,000 barrels a day.  Expert after expert, now that they have access to the video, are saying the leak is between 45,000 and 90,000 barrels a day.  So, BP was off by a factor of 10 to 20.

You heard it hear first.  This is going to do to BP what ENRON did to Anderson Consulting.  It's the end of the line for them.  They will start to sell themselves off before their parts have no value.

Rush Limbaugh blames Greenpeace for the oil spill.  He said their "green" mentality has forced the oil companies farther and farther off shore and thus, the spill is the inevitable result.  Chris Matthews of MSNBC has a standing invitation for any GOP member to come on his show and say, "Rush Limbaugh does not represent the GOP."  After 9 days, there are still no takers.

Paul, winner of the Republican primary in Kentucky is against the American Civil Liberties Act and the American's with disabilities act. This is true.  I do have some problems with the disabilities act.  There is a guy in Marin county that drives around and finds places that should have wheel chair access.  He then sues to get the access put in and keeps a lion's share for himself.  Sounds justified until you see where he is forcing these things to be built.  There is a place where you take a dirt trail to a tennis court.  According to the law, there needs to be a place to unload a wheel chair at the base of the trail.  He got his tens of thousands and the county coffers dropped several thousands building a wheel chair ramp that stretches ten feet from a parking lot to a very steep dirt trail.

North Korea apparently sank that South Korean ship.  The evidence appears to be overwhelming, including pieces of a Torpedo that basically says "made in North Korea."  North Korea is denying this.  It reminds me of the time that I read where a man will deny having an affair even in the face of overwhelming evidence.  The reason being that there is no "up side" to confessing.   We can't attack because they will feel inclined to fight back.  South Korea stands to loose big time while North Korea might not feel anything.  After all, how be a threat is it to say, "We will bomb you back to the stone age," when North Korea is already in the stone age.  They are Neanderthals with nuclear devices.

Greeks are going on strike because they want more money from their government than their government has to give.  So, they damage their economy further by striking.  Meanwhile, those that are lending the money watch.  My guess is the EU will take it all back if Greece doesn't get it together.

I understand that Basketball and Hockey playoffs are underway.  I have no idea who is playing and what round they are in.  Seems to me that in both of these sports, they play all season to eliminate the one or two worse teams and then they hold another season of playoffs.

I find it offensive that politicians pay millions to put out television ads that slam their opponent.  At the same time, we are laying off teachers.  There is something wrong with the way we select our leaders.  Spend the most and you will probably win.  Misspeak once, and you will probably lose.  Lie and deny and we will probably forgive and forget.  I think they should just fill out a big questionnaire and let everyone read it.  Write all you want.  Put it in writing so others can fact check.  You can also write about your opponent.  Post it all on the internet.  Fair and cost effective.

Oh yeah, artificial life was created in a lab.  More on that later.

http://www.worldgratitudelist.com  Leave a list.  Read a list.  Be happy

j

My Socialism Limits

I'm in one of my "list" moods so I thought I would make a comment on what I think the government should pay for and what the individual should pay for.  This is intended to be a statement/measurement of "Am I more of a socialist than you?"

As of this moment, I have no idea.

I wanted to publish a Wikipedia definition of Socialism but the short version was incomprehensable and the long version was, well - long.

So, I am going to call it the following.  Taking in money from the general populace and redistributing it in such a way that matching use to contribution is not a consideration.  For example, I tax a rich person and use it for schools without considering the fact that the rich person has no kids.  I do it because it is efficient and promotes the overall welfare of society.

So what do I want my taxes used for and what do I want to pay for on my own.

Use taxes for:

• Military
• Education
• Police
• Fire departments
• Roads
• Governement
• Local and international aide to those that cannot help themselves
• Health care (take the profit out of it)
• Insurance (take the profit out of it)

What I should pay for myself

• My vehicle
• My food
• Where I live
• My clothes
• My recreation

What falls in between the cracks?

There are a lot of things here.  I don't want to pay for Yellowstone but I want it to be there should I decide to visit.  Ideally, a user fee would cover it.  If it didn't, I would then want the government to step in.  I could go on and on.

Basically, I think that most people want our taxes to pay for the things I want our taxes to pay for.  I don't consider myself a socialist.  I am clearly a capitalist.  I want to work hard, have a nice house and car and go on cool vacations.  But first, I want the basics to be taken care of and I am willing to pay for it.  I am willing to pay for schools long after my kids grow up.  I am willing to pay for your kidney transplant if you can't afford it.  I am willing to do this through taxes.   There are things we all want, but we have to be willing to pay for them.

I believe we get what we pay for.  There are those that think we can have it all and not pay for it. (aka tea party members).  Good luck with that.

Having said all of that, I am not willing to pay for fraud.  I am not willing to sponsor incompetence.

If I could change one thing, it would be that our government would have a Department of Fraud, Lies and Incompetence. This would be an independent agency that puts out a daily report on the Truth.  For example, it would have been helpful to see: George W. Bush worked for Cheney or BP caused the oil spill or Sarah Palin is number 295,758,332 on a list of people qualified to be president.  Instead, we are left to speculate.

I just noticed that I am rambling so I'll have to sign off for now.  I would be interested in your list of what you think the government should be spending tax dollars on and what you think you should be paying for yourself.

Jim


http:www.worldgratitudelist.com   Leave a list.  Read a list.  Be happy.

j

Tabletop Delicacies

There are times when I find myself at home and must fend for myself.  There are no White Castles or Popeyes near where I live.  I think we may have banned them from the general area for health reasons.

So, I have had to learn to cook.

I thought I might share a couple of my favorite recipes with you.

I must caution you; it is very important that you follow my directions carefully as these are the results of countless hours of trial and error.  One small mistake and the whole thing may be ruined.

Let's start with something simple: Blackened Hot Dogs
Take a handful of hot dogs.  Put them in a pan and broil in your oven.  Peek every few minutes to make sure they don't catch on fire or something.  Broilers can fool you.  Nothing happens for a long time and then "poof" everything's on fire.  I'm sure you have all experienced this.  Now, once the hot dogs are sort of burnt but not too burnt, take them out of the oven.  Next, take a square of American cheese and use it like a pot holder to take a dog out of the pan.  Eat.  If you want it to be a little more spicy, try dipping it in ketchup first.

Here is one of my favorites: Chili Cheese Pasta
Boil some water.  Add a package of pasta, it doesn't really matter which kind.  I prefer shells because they act like little spoons, carrying more of the sauce with each bite.  Let the pasta boil until the next commercial.  I don't really know why that works but it does.  Drain pasta and add 1 or 2 cans of chili.  Next add 2 or 3 giant handfuls of shredded cheese.  Stir well and eat.  For more spicy variations, add some ketchup.

Here is one I could write an entire cookbook about:  Rice-n-stuff
First, cook up some rice.  I'm not really sure how to do that so I typically use the instant stuff that you add to hot water.  Next, add a can or two of Campbell Nacho Cheese soup (<-a gift from the gods).  Next add meat and stir.  That's all there is to it.  The kind of meat is really unimportant.  Note: Do not add ketchup.

Well, that was fun.  I have a lot more recipes that I will share in some future post.

Bon Appetit!!


http://www.worldgratitudelist.com  Leave a list.  Read a list.  Be happy.

j

Reluctant Politicalogue

I have always voted; well, nearly always.  I consider it a prerequisite to complaining about things.

Not that I ever complained. 

Until the Marin County Board of Supervisors stepped over the line.

The events occurred something like this:  Our super secret spy organizations somehow missed a years-long plan for terrorists to fly planes the size of apartment buildings into the World Trade Center.  Soon after, the Patriot Act came into being.  This is a very scary idea, we give up liberties to ensure our freedom.  I never was a big fan.

However, fan or not, I kept my opinion to myself.

The Marin County Board of Supervisors took a break from their meeting on prioritizing pothole repairs to declare that the people of Marin County were against the Patriot Act.  What caught my attention on this issue was that no one asked me what I thought.  They just got together, the 5 or 6 of them, and made this declaration on their own.

I sent them a letter stating that they should amend their statement to say, "We, the 5 or 6 of us on the Board of Supervisors, are against the Patriot Act.  We don't know or care what anyone else in the county thinks but if you want to know what Jim Dillingham thinks, you should ask him."

I don't think they debated my recommendation for long.

I took some satisfaction in this entire process.  Nothing changed but I felt better having had my say.

I then went back into my "trust all elected officials" mode where I stayed until the truth about Iraq surfaced.

I watched as our elected officials picked an action and then sought justification later.  Sort of like that saying, "It's easier to do it and ask for forgiveness later than to ask for permission first and not get your way."

I watched as we were lied to and then I watched as they waited for us to forget the lie.   I watch as the GOP votes "no" on everything.  I watch as the offshore oil well owners, developers, renters and operators blame everyone but themselves.  I watch as Tea Partiers want lower taxes and better public schools.  I watch as Glenn Beck decries socialization and then drives home on a public highway.  I watch as the ex-CEO of EBay tries to buy the governorship of California.  I watch as we naturalize terrorists and build fences instead of schools.

And I watch you.

Funny thing here.  I think I am a moderate -middle of the road kind of guy.  In a heavy wind, I might lean to the left or right but never for long.  I live in the middle where most of us live.  Most of us, possibly not you, want better schools and understand that taxes pay for them.  Most of us want to end drug violence and most of us don't think a billion dollar monument to fence building will accomplish much.  Most of us want honest politicians.

You know what I think?  I think we are all watching and thinking the same thing.  We are disgusted and don't have a clue as to how to change things.  I think we are all basically good people but represented by people we wouldn't want our kids to grow up to be like.

So I watch, I vote, and I write.

Writing is just a little thing.  But it makes me feel better and in the end, that is enough.

Http://www.worldgratitudelist.com   Leave a list.  Read a list.  Be happy.

j

The Enemy Within

Two days ago, there was a drive-by type shooting incident in the small town where I live.

It wasn't gang related and didn't quite meet the criteria of "drive-by".  What happened was a guy broke up with a girl, she didn't take this well so she drove while a friend took shots at the ex as they sped through town.  The shooter actually stood up through the sun roof to get  a better shot.

Everyone was caught.

My son witnessed this.  I am here to tell you that if he had been shot, I would have immediately shed my pacifist demeanor and taken up hunting.

Now, we have invested a lot of money in bringing peace to the Middle East, that place where we went to kill and be killed in the name of P.O.F. (positive oil flow).  I am wondering if the trillion dollars spent on this little "oops there is no threat after all" event were spent elsewhere, how could they have been better put to use.

I suggest we look within.  There are a lot more threats to us inside our borders than there are over there (wherever that may be).  We have gangs everywhere.  Why is that?  We have drugs everywhere.  Why is that?  We kids dropping out of school.  We have prisons bursting at the seams.

As a country, we have acute appendicitis (<- hard word to spell) and are ignoring it in favor of helping another country with its bout with the common cold. Why?  Well, if you don't stop the cold there, someone may bring it here."

Let's suppose you could measure "Bad".  For example, terrorism has a Bad Value of X.  We arrived at that number by looking at costs, fear factors, future implications etc.  Everything we could measure goes into the pot.  This gives up a Bad Value of X.

Now, let's calculate the Bad Value of drugs.  Throw in the gang violence.  The impact on families.  The cost.  The jails.  The killings.  Throw it all in there.  When you are done, lets call this Bad Value Z.

My guess is that the Bad Value of Z is a hundred times greater than the Bad Value of X.

We need a Department of Homeland Security that protects us from ourselves.  How many drug busts went unbusted because we spent money hiring people to make sure I take my shoes off when I go through airport security.

The troubles of Mexico are coming.  Like a Stephen King novel - the evil is heading our way.

It's coming because we are calling to it.   We are the consumers.  Those drugs they cook - those are for us.

They are coming unless we chose otherwise.

This should be the issue.  Not fences.  Not laws.  The issue should be action - not against those that would come in, but against those that are already here.  This is not an immigration issue.  This is our issue.  This is about us and our very own enemy within.

J

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Fallen Gods

I saw yesterday where Tiger Woods' swing coach dropped him as a client.  Seems he had a problem with Tiger's - appetite.

Tiger has joined the ranks of Fallen God's.  This group is made up of those we have held in high esteem only to find they are mere mortals with good publicists.

We, as in "we the people" not the we of you and me, tend to hold those basking in the light of fame as something greater than ourselves.  It's as if fame imbues them with godlike powers.

I can see you saying, "No Jim. While you are right on nearly everything, you are not right on this one."

Perhaps.

But, how can we explain why people start to rent from National once they find out John McEnroe endorses them?  Why do we buy, vote or dress like the famous tell us to if we didn't somehow think their opinion matters more than say, the guy next door?

I had a company approach me as say that William Shatner was interested in doing a commercial for my company.  Imagine that!  Captain James T. Kirk was surfing the web and came across me.  He then did some research and was sold.  I am his man.

Turns out, he does this standard promotional thing and they basically insert the name of your company and it looks like he is endorsing it.  He does it once and then some underlings try to sell the fake endorsement.

So, it's fake.  Does this mean everything is fake?  Well, if the Captain of the Starship Enterprise is willing to sell his name for a buck, to endorse something he knows nothing about, then I say, "Yep, it's all fake."

This brings me to our elected officials.  Bush was a C student with a powerful dad.  Cheney worked for oil and "all things Halliburton."  Were they truly Gods amongst us or were they mere mortals, subject to the temptations and failings we non-famous endure?  Sarah Palin is another C student (albeit a very hot one).  She is barely qualified to be a spokesperson for dishwashing soap and yet, she is famous and therefore, qualified to run for president.

There are no gods among us.  We are all frail and faulted.  We are all perfectly human.

We want gods.  We want to believe that Tiger Woods is perfect or that our elected officials are honest and not self-serving.  That is just not the case - not with any of them.

I can say this because I walk amongst the non-gods.  I am one of the masses.  And when I come across a large stone to climb upon, I do so only to see that there are no heads higher than mine.  I want there to be but alas, we, you and I, are as good as it gets.

What's the moral of this story?  Don't vote for the most familiar face.  Don't listen to the one that talks the loudest.  Listen for the truth.  You will know it when you hear it.

http://www.worldgratitudelist.com   Leave a list.  Read a list.  Be happy.

j

What was that?

Today, I forgot to wear my watch to work.  Today, my wife who is more than 7,000 miles away, also forgot to bring her watch to work.  Neither of us ever forgets to bring our watches to work.  So what happened?

Edgar Cayce's (1877 - 1945) biography is called, There is a River.  It's called this because he felt that when he went to sleep, he dipped into a river where all things knowable were known.  He went there for answers posed to him. For those of you unfamiliar with him, he has been called the Sleeping Prophet.  He would go to sleep and then wake up and tell you how to solve your medical problem.

He was very good at this.  Doubters should read up on him if you think this is a little far fetched.

If you have read my blogs, you may have seen that I have had direct experience with this as well.  I am not a psychic but I have been in the presence of a genuine person-who-sees-what-I-cannot.

How does this work?

There is a book entitled Entangled Minds.  In it, the author takes all kinds of psychic research and applies the scientific method to the results.  For example:  Should someone be able to call a coin toss accurately two out of two times?  How about two-hundred out of two-hundred times.  He calculates the probability of the psychic research results being obtained by chance or randomness.  His results are surprising.  He found that people can tell when they are being stared at; people can tell when their spouse is in trouble.  They can, to an extent, read minds, predict the future and see things in their minds even though they have never been there.

So, this phenomena exists.  I just want to know how it works.

And, why doesn't it work all of the time?

If I can tell you that you were born in a yellow house at the end of a cul-de-sac even though I have never been there and you never told this to me, how come I can't tell you where you left your keys?

There is something out there.  Author Lynne McTaggart wrote a book called The Field.  In it, she speculates that there is a field, not unlike a magnetic field, that unifies all of us.  I affect you and you me. 

She may be wrong but probably not by too much.  Physicists have found that information can travel instantaneously between two points.  How does that happen?    To particles in different locations instantaneously know what the other is doing.  That means information traveled faster than light.  I thought that was impossible.Well, impossible if information has mass.  Otherwise, I guess I'll permit it.

Don't even get me started on Dark Matter.  (okay, just a little).  This is matter inferred by observations of the gravitational effects throughout the universe.  It makes up 80% of the matter in the universe and we can't even see it.

So, what does this all mean?

It means that we have less awareness of our universe than an almond does of the workings on an internal combustion engine.

It's not that we are not smart enough, although I am sure we aren't.  I don't think we have the tools to see beyond our five senses. Every now and then, someone comes along and sees what the rest of us can't.  They aren't smarter or more observant, they just have little trait gifted to them for some reason.

Maybe God gave it to them.  Maybe little green men from Mars.  Maybe it was just the universe trying to keep us interested in reaching outwards for the stars or inwards for the God Particle.

I want to know - at least I think I do.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to know everything.  At those times, I always end up with, "What fun would that be?"

http://www.worldgratitudelist.com    Leave a list.  Read a list.   Be happy.

J

An Unplanned Life

An embarrassing thing happened to me the other day.

I did a good deed - a boy scout type thing.

That's not the embarrassing part.  The embarrassing part was that I noticed.  I thought, "Hey, I just did a good deed."

This is not how it is supposed to happen.  Maybe it is better said, "This is not how I want it to happen with me."  I think of myself as a good person; a nice guy that is always willing to help.  However, if that was really true, I don't think it would be so noticeable to me when I do a good deed.

Part one was the embarrassment.

But there was more.  I realized that I had been lagging in the good deed category.  At the same time, it felt good to do something nice for someone else.  I actually got an unsolicited return of "feeling good about myself" for doing something for someone else.  I immediately sought out another good deed to do.  I wanted to feel good about myself and I didn't want to be such a stranger to the event.

Here is the deal - for me.  I am not at a place where being good deeder comes as spontaneously as I would like.  To compensate for this, I have a plan.  I maintain a spread sheet of things I want to do every day.  I have added "Do a good deed" to that list.  Perhaps with practice, I will start to approach being the person I want to be in this regard.

I have noticed that there are a lot of things that I can control in my life if I make a conscious effort.  For example, I know I am going to have a bad day from time to time.  If I wait for this to happen and then try to find my way out of it, I am going to fail.  It's like falling overboard and then thinking, "Maybe its time to learn to swim."  When I am smart, and I am almost never smart, I plan ahead.  I know I will have a bad day so I make sure I have a list of things I can do or think about that will help me get out of the funk.

If you have read some of my blogs, you make remember that I have written about this before.

That's okay.  Writing about it is all part of my preparation.  When fear or worry grips me, I know where the path to the light lies.  I know because I marked it ahead of time.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you moms out there.   I have a great mom.  I had a great mother-in-law who died way too early.  I now have another mother-in-law and she is great.


http://www.worldgratitudelist.com   Leave a list.  Read a list.  Be happy.

j

Husbandry

I have been a husband twice which I guess makes me about average.

Along the way, I have done some things right and some things wrong.  Since I am in the list-making mood, I thought I would make a list of lessons learned.

At this point, I must draw a line in the sand, over which no woman may pass.  Thanks for checking in but this is guys only (secret handshake required).

1. 
   
2. Never let you wife know you know how to operate the dishwasher.  You don't know how to load it, how to empty it and how to turn it on.
3. Don't ask your wife to help you solve a problem.  She will try to help and it will only piss you off.
4. Pick your battles.  You will lose almost every argument so just accept it.  She will let you win from time to time just to keep you in the game.  Choose wisely.
5. Keep a list of pretend car ailments that need attention.  You can pursue these if, for example, she wants you to help clean invisible dirt.
6. The yard belongs to you, unless there is something edible in it.  Only women can make a tomato plant grow.
7. Keep a 10-year old handy for hooking up cable TV and such.  Never let your wife know this stuff is PFM (pure fucking magic) to you.
8. Remember that female anatomy is complicated.  They have more moving parts.  When something goes wrong, just take their word for it.  Don't ask too many questions, it will just confuse you.
9. Emotionally, men see happy and angry.  Women see about a million levels in between.  They don't understand when you ask, "Why are you angry."  They don't understand because they don't think that they are (although is certainly appears that way to us).
10. Buy her flowers for no reason.
11. Tell her she's pretty from time to time.
12. Find an activity that gives you time alone with yourself, preferably out of the house.
13. Always remember that sex is way better with your wife than what you think it may be with someone else.
14. Remember days that are important to her.  Write them down because you are a guy.  We forget.
15. Don't try to watch TV while your wife is talking to you.  Choose one or the other because you can't do both.  Women assume you can (because they can) so when you don't answer her, she thinks you are doing it on purpose.
16. Wear nice shoes when you go out with her.
17. Let her pick your clothes for you.  You don't care anyway and its important to her.
18. If she is letting herself go, make sure you aren't before you say anything.
19. Be the dad you wanted your dad to be.
20. Remember the good times because they will carry you through the bad ones.

Okay, so I am not as wise as I had hoped.  Alas...

http://www.worldgratitudelist.com     Leave a list.  Read a list.  Be happy.

j

Water Coolers and the Battle of Midway

I bet you're wondering how I am going to tie these two together.

Let's start with the battle of Midway.  This was a decisive battle fought towards the end of WWII.  It is significant in that it is the second naval battle where the two opposing fleets were never in visual sight of each other. (After the Coral Sea thanks to Ron S. for that bit of data.)

A little while before Midway, the Japanese severely damaged the USS Yorktown, an aircraft carrier.  It was so beat up they assumed it sank.  But, it made it back to Pearl Harbor, barely.  It was listing heavily to one side and the flight deck had huge holes in it.

The fleet admiral asked the officer in charge of the shipyard, how long it would take before the carrier could return to full service.  The officer said, "6 months at least."

The admiral had a war to fight so he said, "I will give you 96 hours."

Four days later (96 hours), the USS Yorktown went back to sea.  The impossible had happened simply because anything less was unacceptable.

As it turns out, the Japanese saw the Yorktown and assumed it was our main fleet, since they were certain the real Yorktown had sank.  They attacked the carrier and sank it.  They then returned to rearm.  That was when we struck back.  That was the battle of Midway.  We won it, in part, because we refused to accept that the impossible was too hard to do.

This brings me to a certain water cooler that was left on a sidewalk in Times Square.  We had a fit over it, shutting the place down, bringing in dogs and x-ray equipment.  In the end, it held water and books.  Now I ask you, did the bomber from last week, the Nissan with the fire crackers in it, really fail?  I say it was a big success for the terrorists.  They want us to be afraid and we say, "We are not afraid of you!!!" and then run screaming when someone forgets to throw away their lunch sack.

This is terrorism at work.

Ask the average person and they will say, "Well, you can never be too careful."  Hard to argue with that, but I completely disagree.  We shouldn't have to be "too careful."  We are accepting the idea of being afraid instead of insisting the Department of Homeland Defense do its job.

Someone will say, it's impossible to do this job perfectly.

To that I say, "You are fired."  Go to any top company and get the top guy and tell him, I am going to give you unlimited resources to solve this problem.  He will get it done.  He won't put tracking collars on us.  He won't beef up the Patriot Act.  He won't spy on U.S. citizens.

He will get creative and he or she will get the job done.

We all need to stand up and say, "Get it done or get the hell out of the way."

We can do this.  We don't have to run from empty brown paper bags because some guy in a Pakistani cave is pulling our strings.

I see this political theater today.  They are tracking the hundreds of dollars this guy spent on fire works.  This is make-work.  This is pretending to be effective.  This is failure.

When I get time, I am going to make a web page where anyone can easily find their congressman and email or call them to say, "Get it done or get the hell out of the way."

Okay, I am all out of steam....time for some Family Guy and a nap.

j

An Orwellian World

I once had a pot-bellied pig that use to help my out in the garage.  She would hand me tools as I constructed one failure after another.  You see, I was trying to build a pig-proof way of making dog food available to the dogs but not the pig.  Her plan, I can see it now in hindsight, was to watch as I built the various devices so she could see the weak link.

She always won in the end which makes me think George Orwell's Animal Farm is not all that unlikely.

This brings us to his book 1984.  In this book, Big Brother knows everything.  I found this to be a scary yet unlikely scenario for any future.  At the time I read it, it seemed to be full of holes.

How could any entity track everyone?  They would need computers and such.  DONE

Why would we let them take control of us like that?  Certainly we would be able to see it coming and put a stop to it.

Or would we?

Over the last couple of years, I have been starting to see a scenario where Big Brother may someday become the lesser of two evils.

Terrorism the the problem.

If we truly want to stop all terrorism, then we need to know where everyone is at or what they are doing at all times.  This is probably not an absolute.  For example, maybe someone will invent an "evil detection chip" that we put in everyone's head.  If they get seriously evil, their head explodes or something.  Barring that type of breakthrough, as terrorism increases, so will surveillance as we try to catch the bad guys.  People will be encouraged to turn in their neighbors over smaller and smaller trifles as government lowers the threshold for what is considered subversive.

To be free of fear, we will need to imprison ourselves.

This is not the path I would choose.  In fact, I prefer to not react to terrorism other than to terrorize the terrorists. Bagging deodorant or removing shoes to get on an airplane?  Get real! I am in favor of cruel and unusual punishment when it comes to terrorism.  Let them be afraid.

The problem then becomes, "What is terrorism?"  If someone blows up a bridge, we call it a terrorist act.  Suppose they blow up a gas station.  Suppose they just rob a gas station.  Suppose they jaywalk.  I think it is hard to draw that subjective line and say, "Over there on that side, you are the terrorist."  Who knows, in they eyes of the Taliban, maybe we are the terrorists.

So, no cruel and unusual punishment until the bugs are worked out.

After that...let's get creative.

I really want to be the person that turns the other cheeks.  I actually prefer any alternative to what I am suggesting, so long as it works.  I would encourage a "hire a terrorist" program that would provide job retraining and put hope into lives that have no hope.  Fanatics are created by circumstances.  So let us create more positive circumstances.

Until then, I favor a more medieval solution.  I just hope someone can convince me otherwise.

j

Keystone Cops (AKA Department of Homeland Security)

The headline read "53 hours from smoking car to arrest."

Isn't it amazing how efficient our department of homeland security is?

Or did they just get lucky.

I'm thinking its the later.  Let's start at the beginning.  This guy becomes a citizen last year.  A terrorist made it all the way through the screening process to become a citizen.  I find it strange that my wife of five years is still waiting to get her green card.  Note the  following two examples:

1.  She was here on a visitor's visa when we decided to get married.  After five months here, we decided it would be nice if she could stay the rest of the year so we filed the appropriate form called "Request for an extended stay."  The request was turned down.  The reason?  "We have turned down your request for an extended stay because it appears that you want to extend your stay."  I am telling the absolute truth here.

2. After 2 years, we got a green card that was good for 18 months.  This is a temporary measure to make sure the marriage is real.  During that 18 months, we shuttled back and forth between Hungary and the United States.  She spent more of her time there and I spent most of my time here.  When it came time to apply for the permanent green card, another 18 months process, we were told that it would probably be turned down.  The reason, "We will probably turn down your request for your wife to live in the United States because she currently does not live in the United States."  Again, I am telling the truth.  They do prefer that she live with me since that is one way to prove the marriage is legitimate.   However, that is not the only way.  The officer said he had not doubt that we were really married but still...

So, my wife of 5 years cannot get a green card and yet a terrorist can get citizenship.

Anyway, at least they caught the Underpants bomber last Christmas.  Sure, they ignored the fact that his dad told them ahead of time the Who, What, When and Where.  Sure he was caught by a passenger and not the Department of Homeland Security.  I think the entire department was on Christmas break or something.  But in the end, he was caught and backs were patted all around.

Back to New York.  They found the guy using the vehicle VIN and a fingerprint.  This is 1940's technology, maybe older.  There was not database of New York suspected terrorist that helped.  None of the billions that we spent on this was employed.

Now, keep in mind, I am viewing this from the Cheap Seats.  They may have been all over this using their super secret Jack Bauer Utility Belts and such.  But I doubt it.  I think that if they had anything to brag about, they would do it.

Right now they are bragging that they caught the guy.  They are not saying much about how they found him and then lost track of him for a day. They are not talking about how the put him on the Do Not Fly list only to have that list ignored by airport security.

A day after a terrorist attack, a middle eastern man pays cash for a one-way ticket to Dubai from the city that was attacked.  His name is on the Do Not Fly list.  The airlines are told to check the list.  The airline actually claims that they reported the man but fail to mention they only did so after he was caught.  The only reason he was caught was the last line of defense - the manifest was sent (a routine event) to security and they were looking for that particular man.

This is Piss Poor Performance.  In my view, he should never have made it through the citizenship process.  As for the Christmas bomber, when he dropped his fly to light his underpants on fire, an agent should have popped out of his trousers.

We spend and spend on Homeland Security Theater and have nothing to show for it.

Don't tell me a lot is happening that I don't know about.  I once trusted the government.  I watched as they pointed out milk trucks in Iraq and told us they were mobile chemical plants.  It was all bullshit.

We spend and spend on Homeland Security Theater and then pretend we are safe.    Why not put that money to work elsewhere.  We will be just as safe.  We can still pretend.

That's my view...


http://www.worldgratitudelist.com   Leave a list.   Read a list.  Be happy.

j

Random thoughts from an unkempt mind

I am sitting in my hotel room in Florence Kentucky.  At my feet are the remnants of a 10 piece, all dark meat extravaganza (no sides dishes).  No, it's not KFC but you were close.  In my book, nothing beats Popeye Chicken.

Chris Matthews on Harball is fun to watch.  Sure he's a Democrat pretending to be neutral.  What I like is the way the gets after the guys he's interviewing.  Hardball is the perfect name for the show.

I think Family Guy should have its own network.  That way I can watch it any time I want, even when I am on the road and there is no TIVO.

Is it just me or are LEVIS the poorest quality jeans out there.  I used to wear them all the time but the sizes, seemed random.  I took a few years off before going back.  Now they just fall apart.  It's a shame because all I wear are jeans.  Which brings me to today's list. 



Iconic things that are going away (good or bad):

1. Levis
2. Sears
3. The US Postal Service
4. Network television
5. Televisions that can only be used as televisions
6. The GOP
7. Bookstores
8. Traditional Churches
9. The middle ground
             and if we are lucky
10. 100% of the incumbents (state and federal) over the next 6 years.

I think reality television is the worse thing to happen to television - ever.

If a UFO landed and offered to take me for a ride, I would go...but only if they promised to bring me back later.

Sometimes I think Bill O'Reilly goes an entire show without telling the truth once.

I have an old shoe that is smarter than Glenn Beck.

My hotel only gets 25 channels.  Six of them are versions of ESPN or FOX sports.  That's okay though.  My shower has three shower heads and they offer free breakfast.

The writers for House and Breaking Bad are the best in the business.  By comparison, the writers for Greys Anatomy get to work on the small bus.

Things I would look for if I were interviewing people for a job (another list):

1. Good at math
2. Participated in high school wrestling
3. Eagle scout
4. Military experience
5. A creative problem solver

It's been a long day of travel. Time to sleep off some chicken.

http://www.worldgratitudelist.com   Leave a list.  Read a list.  Be happy.

j