It's Smite'n time again

I don't think a day goes by when my Facebook page doesn't have at least one reference to God and Hallelujah. I see the news and it doesn't take long to find someone has blown himself (along with a bunch of the unclean) up in the name of some deity.

I just don't get it.

I actually am a little envious.  These people (of all religious faiths) believe!  They will make any sacrifice in the name of this belief.  They will rightly claim that it is this belief that makes their lives worth living.

And here I sit wandering, "Where can I get me some of that?  Where can I get a belief that is so absolute?"

It's not that I'm a disbeliever.  It's more like, I think it's quite possible that everyone is wrong.  I don't know by how much and in what direction but the thought that one single group out of the entire world it right and everyone else is wrong (this is the position that most people take) is, statistically the same as everyone being wrong.

On the other hand, I suppose that it is possible that everyone is right.  I sort of like that idea.  The terrorist that does what he believes his higher power wants is no different from Sally down the street doing what her higher power wants.

I can see it now.  Eyes rolling as you think, "There is no way God wants terrorists to blow stuff up."  Well, if God is willing to have a man saw his son in half, why not blow up a restaurant.  I think it all depends on your perspective.

I have people come to my door and tell me I'm a sinner because I don't go to church.  I once had a woman stop me while I was jogging to point out that the bible says all joggers are going to hell.  That really happened (as opposed to all of the other stuff I just make up.)

The title of my blog is View From the Cheap Seats.  I think that when it comes to what life is and is not about; what God or whomever wants from us - we are all truly sitting in the cheap seats. We are all squinting down to try and see what is going on in the center court and, in the absence of a good view, we trust the person next to us when he says, "I know what's going on down there so listen to me."

I tried to read some of the Quran the other day.  I was seeing a lot of contradictory remarks about what was in there.  Supposedly, its written in plain language so I thought, "Why not read it myself?"

I lasted about 4 lines.  It's about as comprehensible as reading the bible which is to say, everything there can mean whatever I want it to mean; including -"no jogging for you."

Just by chance, I came across some scrolls under an old train track.  There was rust on the rails so you know these were really, really old.  I sat down and started to read.  I was stunned to find that I may have found the great Religious Theory of Everything.  This is the document that could unify all of the worlds spiritual thoughts.  The fact that I found it so easily while the rest of the world passed it by can be explained simply by, "No one was looking for it."

Why look for a unifying theory when the conflict is so much more profitable.  People unite against an enemy; the enemy being everyone that doesn't agree with you.  This unification is power and control for those with the coveted access to the "man behind the curtain in the corner."

I have decided to reprint, verbatim, some of the sacred writings from these newly discovered scrolls.  Here we go...

And the Big Guy said, "And once a week you shalt complement me on my hair lest I smite you down."  And lo, they complemented his hair and it was good.

He then said, and this is the truth, "Tythe 10% to whomever finds these sacred scrolls so that he might pay off his mortgage and build a church in my name.  Once done, I will continue to whisper into his ear what I want you to do because I think that is the best way to communicate with you."

and more....

And so the people did as the Big Guy commanded.  At one time, a prophet climbed Mount Tamalpais and came down with some commandments.    He presented them to his people and it went as follows...

"Alright everyone, listen up.  I have some new laws."

A crowd gathered around.

"First of all, never question the Big Guy's commandments.  He hates that and will issue a smiting to any non-bleivers.  Secondly, left handed people will not be allowed to eat tomatoes on Tuesday or there will be a smiting.  Thirdly.....blah, blah blah smiting."

This went on for some time.  It was a bit like a Microsoft patch.  The Big Guy initially made everyone perfect but then some bad guy (we all need a bad guy) got involved so new rules had to be made; most of which centered around thanking the Big Guy for his judicial use of the "Smite Button" and always remembering to complement him on his hair.

There were several fairy tales scattered throughout the scrolls but I won't insult you with them.  Who would believe in a talking snake anyway.


I don't think I want to go into any more detail.  I'm afraid that I am already pissing off those that just now noticed I don't believe in the same thing they do.

Having said all of that, I need to point out that I do believe.  I believe there is a Higher Power.  Not because my parents made me go to Sunday School; not because Glenn Beck says so; Not because some guy in a sheet blew up a restaurant.

I believe because we, as a species, seem to have an overwhelming need to believe in something greater than ourselves.  That need is not taught, only the interpretation is taught.  That basic comfort we take in knowing that we are not the best there is, that something out there cares enough about us to what us to succeed; this is what we all seem to have in common, or at least some version of it.

So I believe.  I believe in something that is way too complicated for me to understand - so I don't try. 

I just believe.

As for now, I'm off to save the world.

Up, up and away...

j

Relief Valve

Sometimes I think it's past time to post a blog and then...nothing.

Other times, there can be something that I just need to get off my chest.  Rarely is it anything important, but I need to blog it just the same.

This is one of those blogs.  As I sit in my home away from home, Hampton Inn (tonight is Massillon, Ohio, tomorrow it's Chicago), I can't sleep - possibly due to a combination of diet coke and the need to stay up and see South Park on Comedy Central.

So here are my miscellaneous observations for the evening:

First, a 2-part quiz>

Part 1: What do 75 virgins, Obama's Kenyan citizenship and Obama's Muslim religion have in common?  They are all falsehoods (at least I think the virgin thing is false).  Part 2: Why do these falsehoods exist?  Because the Muslim leadership and the GOP keep silent.  They prefer to not say anything because existence of the false rumors serves their purpose.  Most of us would be quick to point out how wrong the Muslim leadership is.  Why are we slow to make the same observation about the leadership of the Republican party?; A party that I would love to rejoin after we throw all of the current GOP this Fall.  (more on that in an upcoming blog)

I am a little dismayed by the massive egg recall.  Some of you may recall my recent near death experience with Peanut M&M generated body bloat.  Well, I gave up those little colored delicacies for hard boiled eggs.  I'm not sure why.  Perhaps it's because an egg is shaped like a peanut M&M.  I have probably eaten four dozen hard boiled eggs in the last two weeks.  No salmonella (<-hard word to spell) yet.  Possibly because I have been traveling lately and don't eat hard boiled eggs on the road (hard to cook in a coffee pot).

On the road, my diet consists of KFC grilled chicken.  I eat this by the bucket full on the assumption that it makes for a good diet.  This is how my mind works.  I once went on a carbo-free diet.  I made a cheesecake out of cream cheese and then ate the entire thing in one sitting.  Dieting can be hard.

Is it just me or is the Chappelle (<-hard name to spell) show really, really funny.  I saw an episode tonight where he played Yoda.

I'm having some friends over for breakfast this weekend.  It's one of the few ways I can stay in touch with them given my travel schedule.  I cook everything.  Here is the menu: Crepes, eggs (well cooked), eggs benedict, sausage and bacon, pancakes (blueberry).  No peanut M&Ms...maybe.

Tomorrow I hook up with Kimmy C. for lunch.  Long time - no see.  Time to fix that.  Mexican food, my favorite.

South Park is on...rerun but still good.

Then later, I'm off to save the world.

Up, up and away...

j

Catching up

I am just completing a 4-day trip to San Diego.  I come down here every August to meet up with my old navy buddies.  We golf, eat and then golf some more.  We have been doing this for around 8-10 years.  The first 6-7 years we would run in the San Diego Half Marathon.

Now we are older.

Now we golf.

I love hanging out with old friends.  I see them for the first time in a year and it's as if we just saw each other the other day.  This is true with my high school friends as well.  I spent a lot of years moving forward.  It's only been in recent years where I learned to pause and reach back bring the people in my life along with me.

We had a lot of interesting conversations; many about un-reprintable events from our times in the navy.  Many about more current events.  It's interesting that, just like members of my own family, we disagree on many things.  Being friends, the disagreements are just words; sometimes nothing more than to just stay in touch instead of walking silently to take the next golf shot.

I did have my opinion changed about one issue.  Chas and I were discussing the Mosque in Manhattan.  While I could find no one that thought they didn't have the right to build there, most thought it was in bad taste.

I disagreed with them at first.

I took a very "high road" about freedom of religion and the difference between terrorists and Muslims.  Then Chas made a good point.  He said, the leaders of this religion had a responsibility to stand up and say, "Do not kill in the name of the Prophet."  Instead, they remain either quiet or actually support the attacks.

I think he is right on.  I have yet to hear any global leader in the Muslim faith stand up and say, "No virgins for you."  This may have happened but I haven't seen it.  I think that if they did do this, the mess that is the Middle East would be vastly improved.

Other conversations...

I had one friend that said he believes Obama is anti-jobs.  When pressed for a rationale, he said the more unemployed we have, the more control the government has.  I find this very hard to believe.  I think it's much more likely that if you give a guy a job, you get his vote.  If you want to stay in power, fix the economy.

Another opinion on another issue from another friend:  Get rid of all unions.  The unions are the reason that the government is so bloated.  Companies that have a plant go union, shut down and reopen in China. 

Another opinion but this time on religion:  "If I went to a friends house and then he made me compliment him on his home and food; if he told me what to eat and feel; if he whacked me any time I didn't agree with them; I would consider them petty (at best).  And yet, this is what organized religion is.  Men, not God, have made up rules about what God wants, all the while, giving him the pettiness of the worst neighbor on the block."

In the news:  I see there is a documentary coming out about Pat Tillman.  Supposedly, this is going to expose a lot of Rumsfeld-esque behavior.

More news:  Is it just me, or are a lot of people going on rampages?

More news: The Wiki-leaks guy was investigated for rape.  It turns out there was nothing to it.  Was this a warning directed at him?  Who would have done this?  I like to think our government is above such behavior, however, they did lie to the world about WMD's so Bush (AKA Cheney's sock puppet) could look presidential.

An observation:  Of all the people I met this week, only one person can recall an advertisement by Meg Whitman where she talked about "What she stood for" rather than putting down her opponent.  I am a big believer in hiring a business leader to office.  However, I am strongly opposed to a For Sale sign in the governor's office.  She needs to tell me why she is qualified instead of nit-picking at a 40 year political career of her opponent.  Maybe she does this to hide her lack of qualifications.

Back to saving the world.

Up, up and away...

j

A Mosque in Manhattan

As soon as Obama spoke out in favor of the constitutionality of a Mosque near Ground Zero, I knew the GOP would take the other view.

So, let's look at a few facts.  First of all, the Mosque is actually a cultural center that will cost more than $100 million to build.  Secondly, it's two blocks from Ground Zero.  Thirdly, it is not a sacred site as determined by those government officials whose job it is to determine such thing.

What we are not talking about is a terrorist training camp built on ground zero.

I can understand how some people might take offense.  If I lost a relative in the attack, I might feel the same way.  However, it is a highly biased and prejudicial perspective.  Some might say there is nothing prejudicial about this at all.  I disagree.  I am certain that a Catholic church going up in the same building wouldn't even raise an eyebrow.  So, what we are saying here is, "The Muslim Religion is the cause of the 9/11 attacks and we should change the constitution to lay special restrictions about the expansion of this religion in our country."

Freedom of religion is one of our cornerstones as a country.  We fight for this.  And let's remember the Crusades.  Estimates of the number of people killed by the Christians during this time range from one to nine million people.

So, let he amongst us without sin cast the first stone.  Or maybe that only applies when we want it to.

Now the Republicans want to make an issue of this.  They can put as much lipstick on their argument as they want but in the end, its still a pig.

The people that currently staff the Republican party are going to make an issue of this for only one reason.  They want you to think Obama is a terrorist.  They will say, "He was not born in America." even though they know they are wrong.  They will say, "His middle name is the same as that guy that was running Iraq," as if that meant something.  They will tell you about how he campaigned for the Mosque when all Obama did was support the constitution.

The Republican party wants to repeal the 14th Amendment and now they want to make the United States a country that only allows religions that match our own ideas about the meaning of life.

The Republican party will make a photo-op out of going to church and then take us into war in the name of oil and revenge while blaming their neighbor.

I want to be a Republican.  I want a small government.  I want a strong defense.  I want lower taxes.

None of those mainstays of the party are represented by the GOP of today.  Elections are coming up and I intend to clean house.

As far as the Mosque goes, I'm all for it.  I am in favor of what it really stands for: A place for families to get together socially and spiritually.  A place to pray and find comfort.  A place that says, "In the United States of American, we believe in freedoms, including freedom of religion."

To quote (approximately) Shakespeare... "Noting is wrong but thinking it is makes it so."  If this feels wrong to you, I suggest you check you motivation.

(Added the next day) This just in.  There are several strip clubs and x-rated bookstores within the same 2-block radius from ground zero.  There are 87 Muslim businesses and organizations in lower Manhattan were more than 10,000 Muslims live.  There are nearly 3/4 of a million Muslims in the five New York Burroughs.  Even the mayor of New York said it would be a shame if the Mosque were not allowed to be built because to do so would be in direct conflict with the constitution.

The GOP is saying, "Don't do it."  None are saying what that really means which is, "No longer do we think freedom of religion should be allowed in the United States."

(Added 2 days later):  They were making fun of this issue on The Daily Show.  One of the guys said, "It's not an issue of Can You but rather one of Should You?"  He goes on to say, "For example, you Can build a Catholic church next to an elementary school.  The question is Should you?"  I love that show.

Added a week later (8/20/2010)  The following was put out by a collection of religious leaders across several different faiths:  "We Americans, whether Muslim or Christian, whether Jew or Hindu, whether of faith or no faith, were all attacked on 9/11 by terrorists who can only be described as criminals," the text of the signed statement provided to CNN says. "We oppose the exploitation of the pain and suffering of 9/11 by political opportunists. They only divide our country and undermine the principles of pluralism, religious freedom, and security by fostering hate based on fear.The rhetoric against Muslim Americans -- namely, that they are a suspect community, or worse, enemies of the state; their religion is uncivilized and anti-American; they are deceitful; and they aim to destroy our culture and our constitution -- are replicas of attacks against other religious minorities in the past as well as current attacks against ethnic and racial minorities," the group says.

Back to saving the world.

Up, up and away...

I can't help myself

There are basically three main topics I write about in this blog: Food, Technology and Politics.  I depart from these frequently but when my mind is blank, I can always to to these topics to find something to write about.

Today's topic is politics; specifically, the Republican Party at its best.

Here are three clips from Youtube.com that were posted in the last few days. 

First we have Sarah Palin.  Now, when she was first made the candidate for VP, I was a big fan.  It was about time we finally recognized the true potential of the VP - eye candy.  However, over time, I began to think that maybe she should have more qualifications than ambidextrous winking and a bunch of "boy howdy" slang for the plain folk out there.  After the election, McCain's people came clean and admitted that she didn't know squat about anything and was unteachable.

So, here is her latest video.  Remember, saying things like "I want to protect the constitution," as a reason to agree with her implies that this is not a trait that her opponent has.  Of course this is not true.  Anyway, here is the link to Sarah:

Worst Governor Ever

Next is Ben Quayle.  He is running for office in Arizona.  He is Dan Quayle's son.  This guy is already in hot water for an ad where he implies the children in the spot are his when in fact they are "rental" kids.  In this spot, he lists everything that is wrong in the world and blames it on Obama as if saying so makes it true.  Drugs in Mexico, Obama did that...according to him.  The funny part about this spot is he looks like a 12 year old geek trying to be tough.  I'm a pretty peaceful guy but this guy makes me was to push him down in the mud.  He comes across as a bag full of "can't spell potato".  The ad, in keeping with Republican policy, says nothing about how he would get anything done.

Here is his link:

Macho, Macho Man - I got to be a Macho

Finally we have the House Minority Leader, John Boehner.  He is on Meet the Press and apparently has a secret Republican plan to cut over a trillion dollars in spending.  He would tell us now but he says he is still busy listening to what the American people want.  John says he want to create jobs; once again, because he wants it, the implication is that Obama is against it.

 In this clip Greenspan says directly that Boehner is wrong.  Boehner then spends the rest of the clip deflecting questions that try to get him to say why his idea is good and Greenspan's is bad.  Boehner's idea here is that if wealthy Americans get a tax cut, they will spend it to make jobs for the rest of us. Doesn't work.  I have a guy that works for me.  If you save me $5,000 a year in taxes, do you think i am going to hire another employee?  No Way!  I will hire another employee when I need one.  That extra cash is for spending (which creates jobs) and saving (which does nothing).  The poorer you are, the lower your "marginal propensity to save" is.  What this means is that if you are poor and you make an extra dollar, you spend it all.  On the other hand, if you are rich, your "marginal propensity to save" is very high.  If you make an extra dollar, you save it.  After all, you are already rich enough so that if you want something you buy it.  So, Boehner wants to put the extra cash in the hands of the people least likely to spend it and thus, the least likely to create jobs.

 Anyway, here is his "fidgeting" clip:

Bu-da, bu-da, fuba fuba

 My final word on this subject.  I know that I currently have a low opinion of the Republican Party.  I realize that this is probably causing me to see only bad in them and good in the other party.  So, please post your opposing view.  My blog is set to accepts all comments.  I will only delete those in poor taste.  If you post something that is simply in disagreement with me here, I will leave it there for all to see in the interest of fairness.

Back to saving the world.

Up, up and away...

Jim

Flatland

I am at once, baffled by, frustrated with and in appreciation of those that don't agree with me.

If, as some believe, we each create our own universe, then I don't think I would design mine so that there was no conflict; where everything I thought or said was immediately accepted as gospel.  

Still, there are some that believe things that are beyond me.

Here is my list of the top 5 beliefs that astound me.

#5: We never landed on the moon.

#4: The Earth is Flat

#3: Virgins await terrorists in heaven.

#2: One religion is right while all the others are wrong.

And the number one thing that people (27% of Americans) believe that I find amazing is...

#1: President Obama is not an American Citizen.

Forget about the certificate of live birth.  Yes, I know its not signed but most weren't at that time and place.  Forget about the newspaper article saying he was born in Hawaii.  Forget about the Republican governor that says Obama was born in Hawaii.

Forget all of that.  Here is the real problem with this myth.  Secrets are really, really hard to keep.  Especially the juicy ones.  Benjamin Franklin said, "Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead."

So, those that believe in myth #1 think that Obama was born in Kenya and that Kenya has a plan to take over the world.  The Kenyans have been working on this for over 40 years now and are patiently waiting for the big payoff.   This will probably come in the form of a gigantic bag of Peanut M&M's.

Here is what I think.  If you believe in any of the top five myths, you should not be allowed to reproduce.  I know that is a bit "Eugenic" (<-a big but important word to know so look it up) but there are some attitudes that a universe of My Own Creation could do without.

Also, I haven't advertised it for a while but stop by www.worldgratitudelist.com and leave a list behind.  You will be glad you did.

Back to saving the world...

up, up and away...

Jim

A reduction of Sorts

A quick Happy Birthday to Kimmy C.  I am in Chicago right now, probably 3 miles from my best friend growing up.  I haven't seen him in 24 years but I can still remember his birthday.

I am on my way home after a 30 day road trip.  I feel tired but I am not sure if it's all the travel or just this new diet I am on.  I didn't really plan on going on a diet but I figured it was the only way to recover from my inflight meal earlier this week.

Here is what happened.

I am in Frankfurt on my way to Ohio when it occurs to me that I can get myself a treat at the Duty Free store.  A Duty Free store is where you can by watches and alcohol at huge markups but then not pay taxes.  You spend 100% more and then save 10%.  These are stores that basically cater to the Math Inhibited portion of the population.

They also have peanut M&M's for sale. 

I spent 12 Euros, a little more than $15 on the biggest bag of Peanut M&M's I have ever seen.  It said "Party Bag" on the bag.  My intention was to live off of it as the plane transited the Atlantic Ocean.

I have to tell you, there is little in this world as satisfying as walking around with about 10 pounds of Peanut M&M's in you possession.  It's like having a bottomless pit of happiness.

I finished my first 3,000 calorie serving while waiting in line at airport security.  I could see the TSA agents eying my prize but unable to do anything about it.  After all, it's not a liquid or gel so I'm legal.  A tube of toothpaste is forbidden but a guy with bag of candy big enough to knock out a prison guard is just fine.

Anyway, I continued to nibble away during the flight.  I eventually had to slow down and only eat in waves.  My body was starting to suspect that I might be up to no good.  The only way to get down another 1,000 calories or so was to do it in single fistfuls.  Anything slower would allow my brain's frantic "danger Will Robinson" signals to get through.

I eventually fell into a sort of fugue state; neither awake or asleep.  Every time I felt like I had a grasp on reality, I downed another batch of joy and slipped away.  I began to simultaneously want to eat and throw away my bag of "little pretties."

It was clear that I had crossed over the line.

I landed in Boston and made my decision.  I tossed the remaining M&M's into the first trash bin I came across.  This was a mostly symbolic gesture as there were only a few left.

I started my diet immediately.

Now, I am not sure what kind of diet I am on.  My basic rule of thumb is that if it tastes as good as say, apple pie, then I don't eat it. 

It's been three days now and I am starving to death.  I have been writing down everything I eat and on paper, I seem to be taking in enough to survive.  I am surprised by how often I think about eating.  Right now, I could really use a couple of donuts stuffed with fat and dipped in chocolate.  That's not due to my diet.  I often think about what something like that would taste like.

Anyway, my flight home is calling.

Up, up and away...

Jim