Sex-cettera

I was having coffee with Scott, a friend of mine, yesterday.  As with most men, the subject eventually got around to sex.  I don't know how it came up.  With men, sex coming up in a conversation has less to do with the "free association" of the conversation and more to do with the amount of time that has passed since it was last brought it up for discussion.  Every 5-7 minutes, we have to talk about sex.  It's not part of the "male code of conduct."  It's more like breathing - we don't have a choice in the matter.

So Scott brings it up.

This time its about a Mastif and a really small dog whose breed escapes me for the moment but I think it was sort of terrierish.  Now, this is the second,completely separate, dog/sex conversation I  had in 10 minutes.  Earlier, Mike, also at coffee, told me how a Yorkie or something like that, would wait for his Golden Labrador to fall asleep.  The Yorkie would then attempt to mount the big dog somewhere between the neck and mid-back area.  The lab would just lay there and the Yorkie would go to work...

But back to Scott's story...

It seems the male Mastif somehow mated with this little terrier.  I'm assuming a step ladder or something was involved.  The terrier eventually had puppies.  When I asked how they came out, Scott's comment was something like, "I think the puppies were fine but it must have wrecked the mom."  Now, before you get all "pro-dog" on me, I'm sure the mom healed up just fine.  However, listening to how Scott matter-of-factly summarized the event struck me as extremely funny.

More on the sexual front.  It seems that a certain variety of female snail does not leave a sex-trace in her slime trail.  Now, we all know that male snails depend on this trace so they can tell a female snail from a male one.  But, for this one species, the only way a male can find out is by trial and error.  The result is an "Inordinately high incidence of male coupling."  What a funny  line to find in a professional research document.

In other news, Iran is trying to see if they can turn student tourists into cash.  They are ransoming off one of their "enemies of state" for $500,000.  Yes, they want the cash for one of the three students they caught picking flowers along the border over a year ago.

I had this sort of thing happen to a guy I know in Mexico.  He was a bounty hunter that got caught hauling around a fugitive in his trunk.  The bounty hunter, my friend, was tossed in a Mexican jail.  The local authorities continually asked his family for money to feed him and to prepare his defense.  When the family ran out of money, the Mexican prison released him.  I guess they had no use for a cow that didn't provide any more milk.

Back to Iran.  I never thought that they would ransom out these kids for money.  All along I assumed the intention was to ransom them out for nuclear weapons.  What can we expect from a country that (a) claims the Holocaust never happened, and (b) has as its stated aim the complete destruction of Israel and (c) claims that there are no homosexuals in their country.  This is who we are having to deal with.

I thought I would add a quick note on food.  I have noticed a lot of postings about M&Ms and SPAM.  While these both taste great, they should never be eaten together.  By that I mean, never push M&Ms into your SPAM and then make a sandwich out of it.  No, it's better to have a bowl of M&Ms as the main course with SPAM on the side.  Be sure to cleanse your palate between bites with a slice of cucumber.

A word on the economy.  China is a'coming.  They are already taking over Eastern Europe.  They have already passed Japan as far as GNP goes.  We are still way ahead of them, but not for long.  Do you have a plan?  I do. "Made in China" has to go.  Bring back manufacturing to the United States before its too late.

More on this later.  For now, I have a world to save.

Up, up and away...

j